Friday, November 6, 2009

My Last Birthmom.

I quit my birthmom job this week.

It was really hard to do.
I've been really emotional about it.
But it was not paying my bills...and I couldn't do that, work full time AND go to school full time.

It was depressing.
It's been hard accepting that I can't do it all,
but after almost 48 hours of no sleep, I decided that it was really my only option.

Even though I'm going to miss it,
I feel like working this hospital job is what I need to be doing and I feel like I'll also be getting birthmom experience there (a little), because there WILL BE adoptions taking place there. There's already been one as a matter of fact.

It's gone really well so far and I'm really sorry I'm slacking on posting.
My life isn't too exciting right now.

I have been REALLY lacking on sleep lately though...so that's most of the problem.

Anyway,
I brought my last birthmom to the airport today.

That's the worst part.
She was a sweet girl and impressed me to no end with the strength she had during placement.

I remember while we were waiting for the second witness to arrive,
she said "I feel like I know the adoptive couple from somewhere"
(she is from the east and they are from the west.)

I wanted to cry when she said that.
I actually teared up.
I know what she was feeling,
except I knew where that feeling was coming from, and she didn't.
I wished so badly I could have just explained it all to her right there.

It's hard to keep the Gospel out of something that It plays such a big part in.
It's hard to just pretend these things are coincedence when I know that is not the case.

She felt like she knew the adoptive couple from somewhere, because she did.
I strongly believe that she did.
I strongly believe that she knew them before this.
As much as I believe that I knew Dustin and Andrea before this.

4 comments:

brittany michelle said...

i think you did great with that job, but it's someone else's turn now. you are amazing, but it was so hard know that you were doing all of that at once. i know that if you could, you would do it all and more. i'm glad you learned from this experience and that you met the people you did. i'm really excited for you and your new job, and i'm THRILLED that you get to sleep!

The Millers said...

What an awesome experience to be apart of, once things get settled down at my house (married to a Soldier, toddler and a baby on the way), I'd love to call the adoption agency I placed through and offer to volunteer in any way possible with birthmoms. I am a fellow birthmom by the way and I have started to contribute my opinions on the ask a birthmom blog. Nice to meet you! I just love birthmoms, we share something that is so unique.

Rick & Liz said...

I am sad for you not being able to continue to work there. I do understand financial needs though for sure!
Our sweet birth mom was telling me more about how she chose us this past weekend. She said the same thing. That we looked familiar. I had a familiar face to her. I had never seen them before and when we met up at her first ultrasound I walked into the doctors office full of other patients and I KNEW immediately who she and her mom were. NOT COINCIDENCE! NO WAY coincidence! Heavenly Father is so involved in this miracle! I love so much that we can have the blessing of seeing it first hand.

Lechelle said...

I really appreciate this post today. One of the things Kelly and I talk about is that our birthparents will recognize us, and that is a hope that we cling to some days. To hear your testimony of this is exactly what I needed today. Thank you!

I'm sorry you are losing a job you love, but I'm so glad you have this hospital job in your life right now. I hope it brings lots of adoption experiences. But even if it doesn't I'm sure you will help educate many people in that job about the blessing of adoption.