I'm grateful for...#16

Although Adoption has helped me come to understand many things,

I think one of the most apparant and incredible things it has taught me,

is what a blessing it is to be a mother.

My whole life I have always wanted to be a mother,

but it wasn't until I was faced with the decision to place Avery for adoption,

that I really came to understand what an honor it really is.

Being a mother is the greatest gift God has given me.

I thank Him every single day for this wonderful blessing.

I thank Him for allowing me to go through this Adoption experience because it really has opened my eyes to what an incredible blessing it is.

Thinking of this brings tears to my eyes.

I entered Kalista into a model search for a Baby Store.

They win based on how many likes HER PICTURE receives on their Facebook page

So I have a favor to ask of all of my followers.

 

Will you PLEASE go HERE and like their page first, (the vote doesn't count unless you're a fan of their page)

and then go to Kali's picture and Like it?

I would be forever grateful.

I am hoping to get to 200 likes!!

Understanding what Adoption REALLY means.

I've been having numerous conversations,

with many different people lately about Adoption and what it means once a birthmom signs those papers.

After making the difficult decision to place her for Adoption and finding Dustin and Andrea,

I never once referred to Avery as my daughter.

Not once did I think of her that way.

I believe with 100% of my heart that Avery is and always has been Dustin and Andrea's Daughter.

She had to take a detour to get to them,

but she is NOT mine.

Signing the papers makes it so,

Even when you look at her,

it's so obvious that they are her parents.

If I didn't know any better, I would think that she was biologically born to them.

She resembles them SO much.

Nobody in my family thinks of Avery that way.

Kalista is my first child, My parents first Grandchild and my Siblings first Neice.

It's not to say that we don't love Avery.

We all do.

SO MUCH!

But it's a different kind of love.

Avery and I don't have the mother-daughter bond.

The love I have for her is unlike any love that many people will never experience.

I can't explain it.

But it's different because I know that she is Dustin and Andrea's daughter.

She was always meant for them.

So I guess the meaning for the post is this:

A lot of people misinterpret this.

A lot of people have made comments to us about how Kali isn't my only daughter, or my parents only Grand-daughter.

For those that don't understand this about Adoption,

they probably don't understand that this is very close to annoying.

haha

It kind of frustrates me when I'm talking to someone about Kali and they refer to her as a 'little sister' or when they refer to Avery as my daughter.

She's not. I have a hard time explaining this because It's hard to make not sound like I don't love Avery. I DO! I absolutely Adore that girl! But I just feel like some people need to understand the way my family and I see this Adoption.

Once I signed those papers, she was no longer my daughter.

The papers clearly state that.

I willingly did that because I always knew that Avery was going to the right place.

Kalista's Blessing Day

Kali's Blessing was Sunday,and Dustin Andrea and Avery came.

They saw our new place for the first time.

It was so nice seeing them.

Avery is getting SOO big!

She loves Kali and is the funniest little girl ever!

She has the cutest personality.

It's so crazy how big Avery is getting.

I swear she was just born yesterday!

I love that girl.

Two little Angels.

Contest

I'm entering a contest and I have to post a picture of her on my blog.

except, I can't do it on my private blog because they don't have access to that.

and I REALLY want to enter the contest.

So I have no other choice, but to post it here! haha

plus,

I'm feeling kinda mean and I think she's dang cute and I want to show her off! :D :S

So until July,

here's a picture I took of Kali last week.

This bow cracks me up because it's SOO huge.

It's the biggest one she has.

ha I love this picture.

The contest is filled with professional pictures.

taken with the nice cameras and such.

But we can't currently AFFORD a camera like that,

plus I'm not very talented in that area nor do I know anything about it!!

I still wanted to give it a try though!

compromise

I know a lot of people have been asking me to put pictures of our baby on this blog.

Well,

my husband has a say in it too and has been pretty against it.

I've agreed with him when hearing his arguement...

but have felt kinda guilty about it.

SO,

we came to a compromise.

ONE picture,

and

The videos of her and Avery when she came to visit in the hospital :)

20 weeks

HALF WAY!!

Yeah,

that's crazy.

I feel like it's taken forever,

but at the same time...

thinking that I only have that same amount of time to go...

seems like it's come really fast!!

We are all ready to meet our little girl,

but then again...we are SOOOO not ready!!

haha

We still need to get into our house,

set up the nursery,

and finish buying all of the stuff we need for her!

Good thing we still have 20 weeks right??

Slowly but surely things are moving along with this house.

Once we get in,

I feel like we are going to have to hit the ground running to prepare for her.

I gotta say,

I don't think I stress more in my life than I do when I'm pregnant.

Maybe it's just the hormones...

but seriously.

I feel like everything is like...WAY worse than it is.

I'm hoping that is normal!

My Aunt MJ told me that fish oil pills or whatever those are...

are supposed to help calm you down a little.

I'm going out with her on Monday and she's going to bring me some.

I'm hoping those work!

I seriously feel so stressed out ALL OF THE TIME!!

It's starting to really make me forget about everything that is working out RIGHT...

because I'm focusing so much on all of the negative.

I hate it.

But at least I'm recognizing it right?

....I think?

haha

Things are going really well for us actually...it's just a lot at once!

19 Week Ultrasound

I'm 19 weeks.

(almost half way!!)

We had our 19 week Ultrasound on Thursday and things look great!

Kali hates Ultrasounds.

She's turned her back towards us in both of them, little stink!

Nonetheless,

the Ultrasound tech got what she needed and Kali is completely healthy.

and yes it's still a girl!

haha

With my dang belly getting so freaking big,

you'd think that Tyson would have been able to not only feel her kick,

but SEE her as well.

But,

my uterus just likes to grow!

However,

Kali is growing and I'm feeling her more and more.

and YESTERDAY,

Tyson finally felt her kick!

We were waiting to be seated at Chilis,

and were sitting in the front,

and all of the sudden she started moving around a whole bunch.

So I put Tysons hand on my Belly

and he finally felt her!

I was so glad.

:):)

Then,

that night,

I was taking a bath and she started kicking a whole bunch again.

and I actually saw my belly move.

I was so excited.

But it only moved the skin once so Tyson hasn't seen THAT yet.

I felt her move more than I ever had before yesterday

and today I've been feeling her a lot more...

which means she's growing...

which means it's getting closer.

In other news,

I got my hair done on Thursday too.

I changed it a lot...

more than I have in years!

It's closer to my natural color.

I little darker,

but this way I decided that if I'm unable to go get it done again,

(because we are trying to get a house...which we'll know for SURE if we are approved in less than 60 days)

Then it won't be obvious or look bad when my roots come in.

I've had a hard time getting used to it,

but most every else seems to like it...

especially Tyson. and he's really the only person I care about liking it!

19 weeks.

18 week Dr Appointment and the Best husband ever

I had my 18 week appointment yesterday

and I have my 20 week Ultrasound next week

(I'll be almost 20 weeks by then)

Everything looked good and good news,

my heartburn has lessened quite a bit within the last month!!

It was pretty bad,

but now it's pretty bearable.

Kali was hiding from the Dr when he tried to find her heartbeat.

It took a bit to find it and I'm not gonna lie,

I panicked just a bit when that happened.

But that's pretty normal. Especially for me.

I seriously worry about EVERYTHING.

It really is such a miracle that my little girl is growing in my belly...

it doesn't feel possible so I constantly worry that something is going to happen to her!

(It's apparant that it doesn't get better with each pregnancy. haha)

So,

things went well with that.

Then,

when I got home, I began feeling incredibely sick.

My little brother just tested positive for strep throat...

so I'm thinking it could be that.

I have a sore throat and everything,

but I also have a headache,

nausea

and extreme congestion.

I'm sure the Nausea is pregnancy related,

and I've had headaches before,

 but NOT like this!!

Anyway,

the point is I was feeling sick

(and it's only gotten worse today)

I got home around 4:30,

and Tyson got home at about 5:30.

When he got home,

he seriously waited on me more than ever.

Not only had he been working hard at work all day,

but then he comes home,

makes me a grilled cheese sandwich and soup

tickles my back,

gives my Tylenol,

prepares a bath for me

and makes sure I have everything I need.

Then,

when I remember that I made plans with Keara to play games with her and some other friends,

he drops what he's doing to relax,

and says we should go.

So,

he tells me I look beautiful,
(When I have wet hair flailing everywhere, no make up on and I'm in ugly pj's

It's obvious that's not the case! haha)

He tells me not to change,

and we go play games until we decide we need to go home to go to bed so we won't be tired for work.

THAT was only yesterday.

Today,

he worked way late,

in the freezing cold, on the roof of a store, in a blizzard.

He calls me when he's driving home and knows i'm sick so he picks up some dinner,

brings it to me in bed

and

makes sure I have everything.

Just like he did yesterday.

I absolutely LOVE him.

I definitely don't deserve someone so incredible.

He's gonna be an incredible Dad.

I love you Tyson!

I'll post another pregnancy picture next time :)

Just in time

I'm back!

Turns out,

the WiFi on my computer decided to break.

Fixing it was cheaper than we thought though.

It just took a bit to figure that out!

and we did.

Just in time for Christmas :)

Not much has been going on with the pregnancy.

Everything it pretty much the same.

Our next Dr Appointment is next week.

For now,

we are going to enjoy the Holidays this weekend!

I'll update more afterwards.

Merry Christmas!

It's a...

15 weeks.

I really don't look forward to what I'm going to look like at 40 weeks!!

SOO,

We found out what we are having today!

According to the poll on this blog,

the # of votes for a boy won with flying colors!

72% voted BOY!

and

27% voted GIRL!

I myself predicted boy as well.

We got to Fetal Foto's a 6:30

and when they brought us into the room,

I felt like I was going to throw up.

I was SO nervous and SO excited all at once.

Tyson and I had gone out to get Mexican food right before.

I hoped that eating spicy food would make sure the baby wasn't shy enough to hide their Gender!

haha.

Not sure if that was the reason or not,

but once she put the Ultrasound recorder on my Belly,

the first thing the baby showed us was its cute little booty.

Something about seeing our baby for the first time,

on the screen,

caused me to want to cry of amazement.

The Ultrasound tech moved the camera around just a bit and there it was.

The result of our babys Gender.

We are having a.....

GIRL!!!!!!

When this result was made known to me,

I immediately started bawling.

I couldn't BELIEVE IT!

I still am having a hard time coming to terms with it.

We are having a girl!!

I was SO convinced that it was a boy.

She was up on that screen posing for a few minutes,

but kept turning her body so we could only see the back of her.

She started getting a little shy :)

We already had her name picked out.

Our little girl is going to be

Kalista Jean.

We'll call her Kali for short.

So,

 Kali Jean

I can't even begin to express my excitement.

Tyson can't stop smiling and we are just the happiest people on the planet right now.

After seeing our sweet baby,

we are actually realizing that we are

HAVING A BABY!!

I'm already so in love with her and can't wait to cuddle her!