Thursday, September 3, 2009

Faith


I have been thinking about something lately
and
I want to share my feelings.

**I would like to say before though, that I would never try to talk someone into adoption.
I am an adoption advocate, but I in no way am I going to try to tell someone that adoption is the best choice for them. Every situtaion is different and unique.**

With that being said,
let me go on.

When I found out I was pregnant,
the first thing I thought of was not adoption.

In fact,
I did everything I could to avoid that because I knew it would cause a lot of pain on my end and I most definitely did not want that.
So Obviously,
my first option was going to be to get married.

The only problem was,
I wasn't in love.

Deep down I knew this, but ignored it because I wanted so badly to get married.

Two thoughts kept coming to my mind that would make it easier to go through with marriage.
  1. I was probably never going to get married again if I didn't marry Kris. Why? because I knew that the kind of guy I wanted to marry was not going to want to marry someone that has already had a child.

2. I was the reason that Kris couldn't go on a mission. It would be rude just to leave him now right?

Although, neither of these reasons are good enough to marry and make the baby suffer, I wasn't thinking about that at the time.

I had to ask myself if I felt like that was a good enough reason to go through with a marriage that wont last. If it was a good enough reason to cause my child to suffer from my mistakes.

It took a bit for me to get my head on straight and to think about what mattered most in my situation.

My Baby.

So,
the best thing I could do if I really wanted to give this child the best life, was to have faith.

That was a hard concept to learn, but really, the hardest thing to handle was the question "Will I ever get married?"

I have had to constantly remind myself to have faith that the Lord will lead me to the man that I am supposed to marry.
I NEEDED faith that everything would work out in the end.
I NEEDED to have faith that what I was doing was right.

AND,
I still need to have faith.

I'm not married yet,
I don't see myself getting married anytime in the near future,
but I am just trusting in the Lord that it will happen when the time is right.

That is the hardest thing to do.
I think that FAITH is the key to placing your child for adoption.

I had to have faith that Avery was going to the right home.
I had to have faith that the Lord would bless me if I did what was right.
I had to have faith that Dustin and Andrea would be the kind of parents I wanted Avery to have.

Adoption is based on Faith,
and that is really the only thing that can get you through.

and
Eventually,
that Faith will pay off.

13 comments:

Mae AJ and Conner said...

ALL I gotta say .. Is you are Amazing Andee..

StefanieJinelle said...

Definitely something I needed today :) Thank you.

Rick & Liz said...

I have to echo Mae AJ and Conner...seriously Andee!

brittany michelle said...

thank you andee. a lot of religions preach faith, and members of various churches know to have faith, but how many of us apply faith to our daily lives? thanks for sharing your thoughts and your own experiences. it helps us too.

The Brady Bunch said...

You are so amazing to always keep a bright light in you...what a great post Andee! Thanks for sharing!

Lechelle said...

Thank you Andee.

Right now as a future adoptive parent I have to have faith that our baby is coming through adoption. It's hard sometimes.

But I will get our baby and you will get married. The Lord is very aware of both of us and our righteous desires.

Andrea said...

Love you!

Mandy Jo said...

Andee, Andee, Andee! You never cease to amaze me:) Your the best!

Cory and Becca said...

you are amazing Andee.. and you are wise to recognize your application of faith in your situation! :)

Ashley Bennion said...

Love you And - Brant, your dad and I were talking about you and how proud we are of you tonight and I was saying that the right guy will come along when the time is right. You are an amazing woman and everything we go through in our lives is for a reason and makes us stronger and who we are. Any man would be LUCKY to have you as his wife! Love ya to pieces! Looking back in life I am amazed at how things work out - I KNOW that Heavenly Father is watching over each of us and will bless us with all we need at the right times. Love you - Love you - Love you!!!

BrImHaLl FaMiLy said...

I found you blog through google reader. I read and cried through your whole adoption story! I can tell you are a special person and am so thankful you shared your story! I have 6 kids three we adopted through foster care. I wish I could know their birth moms but we are only in contact with one. If you go to my blog click on their picture on the side to read their stories!

Mrs. Black said...

I have faith in you and our Heavenly Father Andee :) This may sound kinda weird, but when I first started thinking about adoption, Hubster and I went and did sealings and the words are almost the same for the kids as the spouse. Long story short, I think I adopted my husband and he adopted me. Just like we are choosing to become parents through adoption, we chose to be together forever and that has been the best choice we have ever made. Heavenly Father knows you have the ability to make good choices, and I am sure he has quite the plethora of good choices for you to pick from. It will happen! :)

Queen Mama said...

I have something for you at my blog!