Saturday, May 23, 2009

Comparison..

I have this weakness.

It's something I have been struggling with my whole life.

I COMPARE MYSELF TO EVERYONE!!

It drives me crazy,
because whenever I compare myself,
I end up having a horrible day and feeling HORRIBLE about myself.
My entire life I have had this problem. I compare myself to everyone...particularly...her
This is my sister, BreeAnn.
Photo Courtesy of Andrea Tuft Photography
My sister and her husband Blake on their wedding day

I seriously compare myself to her with EVERYTHING I do.
My whole life, I would drive myself crazy doing it.

You see,
BreeAnn and I are just 11 months apart.

Because of this, I felt like I had to compete with her all of the time.

I remember driving myself crazy because I wanted to be as pretty as her, as confident as her, as skinny as her and everything else.

BreeAnn and I didn't get along as well as we could have because of this.

I think one of the main reasons I felt this way was because I just knew that people were comparing us because of the fact that we were so close in age...and because I felt like she was better than me in every way, I didn't like her.

Today,
I found myself doing that same thing again.
and
I realized what makes me do this all of the time.

WHENEVER I lose confidence in something,
I start getting really hard on myself.
I wonder what is wrong with me,
which THEN leads me to comparing myself to the people that have the things I want.

Good thing I caught it this time.
I need to start being grateful for the things I DO have,
and stop just wishing I had the things I don't.

That is all!!! :)

P.S...BreeAnn get's really mad when I compare myself to her...so she's going to HATE this post. SORRY BREEANN! :)

UPDATE:

Turns out, all I needed was junk food, a trip to the store with my sister Emilee and friend Cassidy, and a chick flick movie called A Walk to Remember!! That takes away the comparison RIGHT AWAY...of course unless I eat A WHOLE BUNCH of junk food...then that would all go away after I stepped on the scale...

Don't worry...haha I worked out a whole lot this week....

7 comments:

Michelle said...

Your such a strong girl. You have so many incredible qualities that not a lot of people have, particularly birth moms. Try not to be so hard on yourself.

Rachelle said...

I know that comparison game all too well. I think that is one of Satan's biggest tools on us, self doubt, trying to make us think we are less than. When the truth is, we are all daughters of a loving heavenly father who loves us, right! You are gorgeous, inside and out!

DAN, LISSA, & CAM said...

I'm positive you aren't the only one who does that. I think everyone does that same thing in one form or another, it's really hard not to. But I am also positive that people compare themselves to you! You have so many awesome qualities that others try hard to find in themselves. I think His plan is so perfect in the fact that we are all just a little different to balance each other out. Rachelle is right though, Satan sees the perfection in that plan and tries to mask it with envy and jealousy. Don't let that sneaky snake get you. You are perfect the way you are.

fivewalkers said...

Andee, you and BreeAnn are so different. I totally agree with everything everyone has already said. Celebrate you differences!!That's what makes you YOU!! We already have a beautiful BreeAnn we need a beautiful Andee!! :-) LOVE YOU!!

Kim said...

I have this same problem, comparing myself to others...I would like to say it goes away...it doesn't, but does and can become easier. I think the best thing to do is to focus on what makes us special and unique.

I feel so honored to have met you FINALLY...and to "know" you. You are a beautiful woman with SO much to offer this world...

Hugs beautiful girl.

Adam and Andrea Daveline said...

You are amazing. I am so glad that you worked it all out. I am ALWAYS comparing myself to Amy Jo. I will never be as pretty as her or sing as well or have as much.........etc. I think it's an older sister thing. We younger sisters need to just suck it up!

Michele said...

Girl, I know that coveting and regret are 2 of Satan's greatest tools. I've been guilty of both. Comparing ourselves to others is a form of coveting (we want what they have), and both take us away from progressing as daughters of God. I've looked at you all through your Y.W. years and WISHED that I had been more like you as a young woman--you are gifted with words, spiritually strong, beautiful, confidant, etc.etc. When I was your Y.W. leader, I realized that we are all unique individuals. We have the most amazing talents that H.F. blessed us with, and we need to magnify our OWN talents, and our main focus on others should be when it's by way of helping them. You have already learned this, as we watch you serve those around you. YOU are a most amazing woman, I get weepy whenever I think of you! Remember, we need YOU, Andee DeMie, a unique individual. Think how different this world would be if there were 2 BreeAnns---and no Andee... I love you, girl! Michele