May - Funny Converstions

This is a little late!

ha but it's better late than never right!?

***

Ernesto: Hello?

Me: Hi are you on your way yet?

Ernesto: Are you guys ready for us already?

Me: Yeah, it will be ready in like 10 minutes

Ernesto: Okay we're just leaving the couch.

Me: ....The couch?

Ernesto: Yes

Me: (Laughing) You're just leaving the couch. You're not just leaving the house, you're leaving the couch.

Ernesto: (also laughing)(to someone else) No, she's laughing at me (to me) We have to stop at the bank and then we'll be there.

Natalie: (yelling so they can hear) Hurry up losers!

Me: Natalie says hurry up...but I'm not going to say what she called you cause it was rude.

***

Through text:

Me: Mckenna! Happy Birthday!

Mckenna (who just turned 12): Thank you!

Me: I wanna take you out for this. When the Heck are you free?

Mckenna: Idk i'm pretty booked. lol I know a lot of people. maybe next week

Me: hahaha you're pretty booked? I feel honored to know you. So...how about next tuesday?

Mckenna: Fo SHO! After school?

Me: Sounds good! What time are you done with school?

Mckenna: I get home about three

Me: Okay let's do...four or five?

Mckenna: okay

Me: You ARE aware that you just Butt called me right?

Mckenna: no i am not lol sorry darlin

Me: Oh well. I guess I'm used to it :( this happens regularly man

Mckenna: hahaha I'll "accidentaly" call you soon.

Me: fine.

***

Trying on wedding dresses:

 [Emilee and Cassidy are both zipping the dress up]

Me: I'm not even sucking in with this one

Emilee: Well maybe you should! I'm getting blisters!

sad huh? hah

***

In the Burger King drive through:

Mom: Emilee, what do you want honey?

Emilee: Well, they don't have light lemonade, so I guess I'll just get...water

Mom: Okay can we get one Ice water.

(while waiting for our food)

Emilee: They're probably gonna give me a little tiny cup. They ALWAYS do that. Mom will you ask them what size it is?

Mom: (to the BK Worker) What size is the water?

(BK worker shows us the cup)

Mom: Is that good Emilee?

Emilee: Oh my! That's the kids size. Seriously (Mimicking the fast food restaurants everywhere) 'can I get a Diet Coke?' 'Would you like a Biggie or extra Biggie?' ...'Can I get a water?' 'Would you like a Extra Small or Extra Extra Small?' This is why America is Fat!!

***

Driving

Cassidy: What is in the guys hair!?

We all look ahead of us

Me: Is that a napkin??

Mom: (laughing) No! That's a toupe  (sp?)

***

Cassidy: I'm so sad I failed my Audit

Emilee: Mom, Cassidy let Timmy Drown!

Me: Who the heck is Timmy?

Cassidy: a Dummy at work (she's a lifeguard)

(all of us laughing)

Mom: You said that WAY too casually

Emilee: Well it's okay, yesterday she made up for it by giving mouth to mouth resuscitation to an ant.

Me: What?

Emilee: yeah, She put it in the hot tub and then felt bad so got it out with the net thing

Cassidy: I'm the one that put it in there! I just kept remembering. I knew it was small but I still remembered, 30:2!

Emilee: She was freaking out and wanted to save it

Cassidy: yeah and then I sprayed Victoria's Secret Perfume on it.
(we were all laughing hysterically for about 20 minutes)