It wasn't me.

I had a conversation with my mom today while were running errands.

I have been trying to figure out how to respond to all of the compliments from people telling me that I'm amazing for placing Avery for adoption...especially when it's face to face.

It's hard to come up with a response to that.

They are the sweetest comments I have ever recived,

and believe you me, I am very very flattered and feel good hearing it,

but it's hard to respond because of the way I feel about the whole thing.

After talking to my mom though,

I was able to find the words I needed,

and I'm going to try to explain here.

There is so much I want to say...but here is my attempt.

It's not me that is amazing.

It is This Gospel.

I was carried through the entire adoption process.

I look back today and think "How did I do that?"

But then again,
I know how.

It wasn't just me doing it alone.

The minute I realized that adoption was the right decision,

The minute I met Dustin and Andrea,

I was carried through it all.

Prayer.

without it, I wouldn't have felt the peace I felt.

I just want to quote a scripture.

1 Nephi 18:3

And I, Nephi, did go into the mount oft, and I did pray oft unto the Lord; wherefore the Lord showed unto me great things.

Not only was I constantly praying, but other were praying for me. 
I was told that all of the time and I have so much gratitude for all of them.

I think back to how I felt during the whole process.

the peace that was in my heart,

the surety that I was doing the right thing.

I wouldn't have felt that way if it was just me doing it alone.

This Gospel was my help.

I couldn't and wouldn't have done it without it.

I wouldn't have had the strength.

I asked, and I received this strength.

3 Nephi 14:7

Ask, and it shall be given unto you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened.

Prayer is such a powerful thing and so is This Gospel.

Dustin and Andrea don't have me to thank,

they have The Savior; The Gospel.

The love I have for Avery is so real.

I love her more than anything else in this world.

But I know she is not mine.

She is, and always has been, Dustin and Andrea's Daughter.

She was meant for them and their family for eternity...

and thanks to The Atonement and This Gospel,  she is.

It is so hard to explain how I feel about it.

Don't get me wrong,

It makes me feel good when people tell me I'm amazing!

I helps the self confidence a little.

But I just felt like I needed to make this clear.

I am a different person because of this experience,

but I am in no way amazing.

I didn't do it alone.

I couldn't have done it alone.

So those of you that think you could never do it,

I assure you that if you allowed the Spirit into your heart,

you could.

Because with the Saviors help,

We can overcome anything.