Friday, August 19, 2011

Wish I have parented?

I received a question on my last post,
that is a question I have also been asked a lot so I decided to answer it in a post as well.

The question was:

I can't help but wonder, now that you are married and a mom do you ever wish you could have parented Avery since now you have a two parent household for her? In hindsight, do you regret it or do you (or her adoptive parents) worry she might wonder why she was adopted and her sibling (through birth/blood) was not?

Short Answer: No.

Long Answer:
For those of you that are also LDS,
it's probably easier for you to understand this.

But I will try my best to explain it if you are not.

We understand that families can be together forever. The way to do that is to be sealed together for time and all eternity in the Temple. When we are married, instead of parting at death, we are sealed together for Eternity. Even After death.

This is something that I have a strong Testimony of. I am so grateful that we can be together forever. I can't imagine thinking that if my Husband or Family Member or Child were to pass away that we wouldn't be a forever family! It is so comforting to know that when a family member passes on, we WILL see them again and we WILL be a family forever.

So now let me explain something as far as Avery goes.
Avery's Birthfather and I would not have stayed together.
Our marriage would not have lasted. 
We wouldn't have been sealed in the Temple, which means we wouldn't be a forever family.

How do you think Avery would feel,
if she was the only one that was not sealed to her family?

Because Tyson and I were Sealed in the Temple when we were married,
Kalista was born into the Covenant which means she was born already sealed to us.

When Dustin and Andrea adopted Avery,
they were able to take her to the Temple and be sealed to her.

The only way that Avery would have been able to be sealed to us,
is if her Birthfather allowed Tyson to adopt her and let me tell you right now,
I know for a FACT that he would not have allowed that.

So that is one Major reason that I still know that Avery is where she is supposed to be.
Not once have I wished I had parented her now that she would be living in a stable environment.

Another reason is that just because she would still have a two parent home,
she would still be going to her birthfathers home every weekend.
She would still be passed back and forth.

I gotta say,
I'm having a hard time leaving Kali at my parents house over night for mine and Tysons Anniversary...
I would DIE having to do it every single weekend!

I hope this makes sense and that I'm not just rambling,
but marrying Tyson just confirmed to me that Avery is in the right place.

She is sealed to her parents.
and I know that as long as you are sealed to your family,
that everyone is a family in heaven anyway.
We're all brothers and sisters.

SO no,
I don't wish I had parented her.
not for one second.

But I love that girl so dang much!!
Which is why I don't regret placing her.
She is better off!

and when I see a post like THIS,
it just confirms my feelings even more :)


Sean said...

Thanks for your post. It reiterated some things for me. Something I needed as my wife and I are trying to adopt.

Anna said...

That does make sense to me. Especially the getting tossed back and forth b/w her birthfather and you. That would be difficult. I also have a hard time leaving my children and couldn't imagine not having them for an entire "visitation period" however long one might be if my husband and I were not together. Thank you for taking the time to respond to my question. Avery is an adorable little girl. And she is so lucky to have ALL of you! I am glad I asked as I can see your reasoning so much better and understand more than before. You are so brave to make the decision for Avery. I know it must've been incredibly hard.