Sunday, May 23, 2010

Okay, here we go!!

Let me tell you the story.

It's kinda long, but it's a good story.
A story that I will tell forever :)

I met him my Senior year of high school.
He had been in my ward for a year at this point but I never paid much attention.
I don't know why, but I didn't.

The first time I actually saw him,
I liked him.
The first time I actually looked at him,
I wanted him.

His name?
Ernesto :)

It wasn't until our Senior year that I actually started talking to him though.
We were at a mutual activity.
I started the conversation.
It was lame. He remembers how it went,
but I'd prefer to block it out ;)

By February of 2007,
we were dating.

We dated throughout the rest of high school
We walked at graduation together.

in about July of 2007,
I broke it off.

He had a mission that he needed to prepare for.
I wanted him to focus on his mission.
I felt like dating more,
and I didn't want to distract him anymore from his mission than I already was.

So I broke up with him.

In late September,
I began hanging out with Kris.
and in October,
I began dating Kris and Keltson.

Ernesto didn't know about this.
I didn't want him to know.
I didn't want him to think I was over him.
I didn't want to hurt him.
He was still in my ward.
We still saw each other every now and then when I would come down from school.

By February of 2008,
Ernesto had his mission call to Houston, Texas.  
a few days after telling my parents I was pregnant,
Ernesto found out as well.

I was terrified of his response.
I didn't want to know how he felt.
I didn't think he even knew I was dating anyone.

I discovered about a week later,
that he didn't have hard feelings towards me.
He still talked to me every now and then
and he even hung out with my sister at my house sometimes.

He watched as I got engaged to Kris.
He sat upstairs as I brought Kris over to meet my old young womens leader who lived in his basement.
I was supposed to get married on April 18th.
He was supposed to leave on April 16th.

After calling off the wedding,
he seemed to talk to me even more.

He invited me to his farewell bbq
and he was so forgiving.
I couldn't believe how forgiving he was towards me.
He acted as though I hadn't completely betrayed him.

After leaving on his mission,
I received a few letters from him during my pregnancy.

I didn't write him back ONE TIME throughout the pregnancy.
I was stressed, and I honestly felt like there was nothing there between him and I.
I had no feelings for him.

After placing Avery for Adoption,
I began writing him back a little more.
I knew he needed the support and I felt wrong to just ignore his letters.

He got home in April of this year.
the day before he came home I was dating someone.
The guy I was dating asked me if he should be worried and without even skipping a breath I replied "NO!"

the day after he came home,
I saw him for the first time in two years.

There was definitely something there.
he gave me a hug and I could feel the sparks.
I wanted to talk to him more,
but couldn't because I only saw him as I was leaving the restaurant Chili's with my Friend

 (my old young womens leader living in his basement!)

a couple of days later,
He texted me.

a couple of days after that,
he called me.

I broke it off with the guy I was dating the day before Ernesto and I went on our very first date in two years.

and now...
we're getting married!!!

I'm so in Love.
He is THE MOST amazing man I have ever met in this world.
The things he has overcome in his life are incredible.
Anyone that has had any type of interaction with him loves him.

I'm so grateful to be his future wife.
I'm so excited.

This has all seemed so fast.
After my experience Last year,
I swore to myself that I would not let myself rush into a marriage.

I know Ernesto.
I've known him for Three and a half years.
I know everything about this amazing man.
from his past,
there is no better man out there that could relate better to how incredible my situation is with Avery.

I just feel like he already belongs to my family.
He fits SO WELL.
I love him SO MUCH.

I can't wat to Marry this man.
I can't wait to be sealed to him for ETERNITY!!

He is my other half.
He is THE ONE.

We want a summer wedding.
I want the reception to be in my backyard.

it's going to be a short engagement.
But, that is OKAY!! haha probably better in fact.

I saw a rainbow today.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010


I've got another rainbow going on.

But this time,
a bright, amazing, lovely, never ending rainbow.
(and it even actually POURED rain today)

100,000,000,000 times better than the last.

You're gonna have to excuse me.
I'm basking in the moment.

I will tell you the story....
Soon :)

Thursday, May 13, 2010

This is why I love Carrie Underwood.

 Such an Amazing, Talented, AWESOME Woman.
She's my Idol.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010


I was going to write this post the day after mothers day,
but my life is so busy that I never had time to finish it.

SO I'm sorry.

In all honesty,
I was expecting birthmothers/mothers day to be BAD.
I was not looking forward to either of them and almost started crying everytime I would think/talk about it.

Here is an example of how my day actually went:

* I woke up.
[The night before at like one in the morning I posted my Adoption Video on facebook.
I felt like I should do SOMETHING for birthmothers day. Especially since it seemed most of the other birthmom friends I have on facebook were already doing it.]
I got on facebook before getting ready for the birthmom walk.

I had received probably 8 comments on my video from different people wishing me a happy birthmothers day and saying the SWEETEST things to me.

* One of my very good friends was coming with me to the birthmom walks. He brought me candy, gerber daisys, and a card wishing me a happy birthmothers day. I was SO grateful for that. It wasn't expected and I couldn't stop smiling when he gave them to me.

*We go to the birthmom walk and about10 minutes after getting there, Dustin Andrea and Avery showed up.  We were there for probably a good hour and a half. Avery was ADORABLE and we played with her forever. She is such a light in my life. I felt so peaceful after leaving. I'm SO glad that I can be a part of her life.

* When we were leaving Dustin Andrea and Avery gave me the SWEETEST gift. I got another Willowtree statue that I can add to my collection, Sour patch kids and the CUTEST cards. Avery drew me a picture. Just looking at it melts my heart. Few people can understand how much a picture like that means.

* When I got home from the Walk, I got back on facebook. I had 20 notifications! All of which were from people wishing me a happy birthmothers day and giving me SO much support. I couldn't even believe it. I had SOO MUCH SUPPORT. I got really emotional as I read them all. I can't even explain how grateful I am for all of you. Your support means more than words could ever express.

* I went to work my night shift at work that night...and my COWORKERS were the same way. MAN I love my job. I am SO lucky.

* The next day, Mothers day, Was my good friends homecoming. He just came home from his mission. He is in my ward too! So, I went to Sacramant. I was VERY worried about this to be honest. I wasn't planning on going because it was mothers day and I knew all of the talks would be on mothers. So when I found out his homecoming was this day, I was dreading it.  I got there late because I knew his talk would be last and I thought that might help ease the pain a little.  The last speaker before him was speaking.  Her talk really got to me. She explained in her talk that she understand that mothers day may be a difficult day for some. She made sure to be very sensitive towards this, while still explaining what a gift it is to be a mother.

*When Sacrament was over, they passed out the Annual mothers day gifts. The bishopric stood up and asked that all of the women 18 and graduated stand because they were going to receive that same gift. I LOVE my ward. They are so sensitive to my situation.  I don't think the bishopric even realized how much this meant to me. But I had a really hard time with this last year.  and even then, an amazing woman in my ward got a gift and gave it to me last year. She told me that I was still a mother regardless of whether or not I had a child that I was raising.

*At about 6 on Mothers day I brought Andrea her mothers day present. Avery was there and she was SO sweet. I seriously love the relationship I have with Dustin and Andrea. Thank you Dustin and Andrea. If it wasn't for you, I would not be where I am right now.

I would like to thank EVERYONE that helped me through this. Most of you don't even realize that you contributed. I LOVE everyone in my life. So if you're reading this, consider yourself one of those people.

I hope that your mothers day was as peaceful as mine. I hope that all of the women out there that are in a similar situation as me, or if your someone that feels mothers day is one of your LEAST favorite holidays, I hope you felt the peace that I felt. You deserve it.

 I felt so bad the next day. I was planning on doing the same for all you mothers/expectant/hoping to adopt mothers...but that day was busy. and now I feel kind of selfish. So consider this, a HAPPY BELATED MOTHERS DAY to all of you!!

Friday, May 7, 2010

Not meant to be...

FIRST of all,
I would like to announce that Dustin and Andrea were finally approved to Adopt again!

Spread the word!
You can find their profile HERE!

I'm so excited for this!

Okay now on to what this post is for:

Last night, I worked until 11.
My mom called me at about 9 and wanted to know if I could stay up until 2:30 to pick up my little brothers because they were going to the midnight showing of Ironman 2 and she had to wake up early. 

I agreed to this and then I texted a VERY good friend of mine to see if he could do something with me until then. He agreed and that was the plan.

By the time I met up with him After work it was about midnight. I told him I was hungry. I know that eating late is SUPER unhealthy, but I was STARVING. I had been working all day. So I suggested that we should go get food at village inn. They're open late right?

He agreed. So we drove to Village inn and as we were walking in the door, the employees were walking out. It closed at Midnight. What the Heck!??! Since when!?
We decided to see if IHOP was still open.

They weren't

we decided to try Wendys.
We pulled into the drive through and I began looking at the menu.
I found what I wanted and it looked SUPER good.
We were about to order when the lady came on the microphone and said
"sorry, we're closed."

I was SOO mad.
I wanted those Chicken Fingers!!

So, after thinking about it,
We decided to go to Mcdonalds.

I don't like Mcdonalds.
The only thing there that I eat are their snack wraps.
BUT I know they're open for 24 hours.

we drove to Mcdonalds and pulled into the drive through.
the guy came on the Microphone and asked if he could take our order.

I was about to order when he came back on and said
"Oh, before I take your order, we are currently only taking cash. is that okay?" It wasn't okay.
I was MAD!!


apparantly it wasn't meant to be.
But I didn't care.

I was hungry.
we decided to try Burger King.
When we got to the drive through for the place,
the lights were on.

After about 30 seconds of sitting there,
the lights all turned off.

At this point, 
we were laughing really hard. 
we were driving all over the valley to get food...this was getting ridiculous

we decided to try ONE more place. 
We went to a diffrerent Mcdonalds.

they were open and both cash AND cards were being accepted!

At least that bought some time right? 
and we had fun.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Birthmothers Day Walk.

There's a birthmothers day walk on Saturday.
...since Saturday is Birth mothers day.
It's at Provo High at 9am.
It's to support birthmothers I guess?

That's what I've been reading lately...
but I think it might be to support adoption like it was last year.

Either way,
I'll be there.
Hopefully I'll see you there as well!