Thursday, January 29, 2009

Death

I have been thinking a lot about death lately.
and
I can't get my best friend off my mind.
This is me and Keltson

Keltson passed away last October, due to a fatal car accident.
He was my best friend.
I have never had such a great friend.
After I discovered I was pregnant, I lost all of my friends. They didn't want to have to deal with any of it so they just stopped talking to me.
But not Keltson.
he took me under his wing and helped me deal with the incredibely difficult situation I would be dealing with for the next year of my life.
He was there for me in my time of need. He always knew when to text or call me and knew exactly what to say.

He always knew when I was feeling bad about myself or worthless, and would tell me things like I deserved someone great, and that my future husband is going to be lucky, to make me feel better.
I keep finding myself comparing everyone I date to him.
it's horrible.
Sometimes I wish I didn't think about him so much.
I think it would be easier.

He was seirously the most amazing man I have ever met.
(These pictures were taken the last time I saw him)
Love you Keltson.

4 comments:

Ashley Bennion said...

Hey And - Sounds like you are having a rough time right now. Remember how much you Heavenly Father loves you and know that he gave you Keltson in your life for an important reason. He will ALWAYS hold a special place in your heart. I know it is hard that Heavenly Father needed him back home right now, but I KNOW with all my heart that your husband is someone amazing that Heavenly Father has in mind for you and with time it will all make more sense. I love you so much and miss you tons! Love ya - Ash

Jamie said...

Andee - We both know that death makes absolutely no sense to us who are left here to go on living like normal. The thing is, we have to make a new "normal". Life will never be the same, I understand that.I think our close loved ones who pass on will always be in our hearts and there will probably always be hurt, but I also know that Heavenly Father provides ways and angels to help us get through. When Sean died someone left us a comment on our blog saying that Sean was and is an Angel whom walks amongst us and I truly believe that. Their spirits are still here and can comfort us in our darkest moments. I know Keltson helped you get through a lot, especially when you felt so down on yourself. He helped you believe in yourself again, if you ever need that encouragement just call me because I would love to remind you of what an AMAZING woman you are! I admire you more than you will ever know. God also knows how amazing you are and I know He has a companion for you, not just anyone, but someone who deserves a woman as incredible as you. I love you!
~Jamie

Dustin and Andrea said...

We think about you often and pray for you constantly. We love you so much. We are grateful to Keltson for loving you and supporting you through all of the difficult times. You are an amazing girl and we don't know what we would do without you. Your future husband is seriously so lucky. WE LOVE YOU MORE THAN WORDS CAN EXPRESS!!!!

fivewalkers said...

Andee, you are such and amazing person. You deserve the very best. I believe that Keltson will help you find you compainion. You have lots of angels with you, that love you. Just like us! It's good the write down how you feel it help you heal. Heavely Father has your best interests at heart and I have no doubt you will find your way through all of this. Love you lots!