I'm Back.

I keep thinking, “I can blog again. I should do it. Things are getting better.”

Then, when I sit at my computer, nothing comes to my mind. Everything that I had planned/thought of saying completely leaves my brain

So here I go. I am going to attempt to post again. I know it has only been a week and a half, But I definitely thought it would take a lot longer too….'work things out' than it did.

So after a VERY short break, I’m back. With that being said, I would like to warn you

This will be a long post!!

Our Lives are a lot like trees. Here is why:

"The tree loses its leaves every autumn, but still it grows proud and strong, readying itself for the spring that is sure to come. The tree can't see. First it loses its leaves. Then it gets colder and colder and colder as winter settles in. many times, there are storms that bend the tree. You will see the tree bent over, but that doesn't mean the tree is sorry for itself. It means the tree cannot stand upright at the moment. You will find that some of the strongest trees are twisted not because they are wild, but because they have corrected their paths, the paths set by the storms. the trees are never entirely certain that spring will come, but they live according to the pattern which has been established, and they grow toward the sun, because that's all they can do. "

--Said so amazingly by one of my very best friends, Brittany

The past few weeks have been rough.
That quote is probably te most detail I will get, But things are finally starting to calm down.
Let's hope they stay that way.

Anyway, Although it has only been a week and a half.. Many things have happened. I would like to bring a couple of them to attention:

1:
I would like to congratulate to Rachelle and her Husband. They just adopted the most ADORABLE little girl!! She is so precious and I couldn't be happier for them. They deserve this and so much more!

2:
Stefanie just gave birth to a BEAUTIFUL little girl. Olivia was born on Wednesday September 23rd at 9:36 pm. Please keep Stefanie in your prayers. Placement is NOT easy. My heart aches for her just thinking about it.

3:
ksl.com - Race honors Riverton student Shared via AddThis

Keltsons run was on Saturday. Almost 350 people showed up! that is AMAZING! It was a great turnout and his family is so grateful for all that came and showed their support.

4:
Conner met Avery on Thursday.

He was SUPER shy at first, but warmed up really fast and they loved each other!

I hadn't seen Avery since my birthday. It was a VERY nice and MUCH needed visit.
She will be one in about a month.

Hard to believe.

5:
and finally, I am so sad to announce that I had to quite watching Conner. Things have been crazy lately and I had to settle with last resort.

It was really sad. :( I miss the boy and am so sad that I can't continue to tend him!
I hope the new babysitter enjoys every minute with him! He is Such a cutie!

Okay so this post wasn't as long as I thought it was going to be...but I'm still looking for the correct words. SoI guess now would be a good time to say..

TO BE CONTINUED....

Going on Break.

I'm taking a break from blogging.

Thank you to all of my blogger friends for
your complete and utter support.

I love you all.

Hopefully I'll be back
soon.

I NEED YOUR HELP!!

OOKay here is the deal.

remember how I entered a video in a contest on adoption voices??

well,

I made it to the top ten and then I received an email explaining that the songs were a copyright violation and that I had to change those songs.

Unfortunately,

I didn't know WHAT songs WEREN'T a copyright violation so I had to just take out the music all together.

I know,

pathetic right??

The video is now VERY pathetic, but I am still in the top ten.

now,

Whoever receives the most comments on their video wins.

So here is where YOU come in.

I would LOOOVEE if you commented on my video.

I WOULD LOVE YOU FOREVER!

You can find the real video (with the music) at the bottom of my blog (just scroll down!)

Then,

you can see the contest video by going HERE

and I would ADORE comments!!

PLEASE!?!? :)

(you think doing this is a violation??..I hope not! haha)

The winner gets $100... :):)

Megan Bell

This is Megan Bell (along with all of her incredible art work behind her)

You've heard me speak of Megan before right?

well,
I'm hear to do it again.
(partly because Megan begged me for like 20 minutes to dedicate a post to her..and partly because I just love her. She completes my life. :D)

Anyone that knows Megan LOVES her.

Seriously.
I have never met someone that can change my mood from being grumpy and sad to happy and laughing within seconds.

I don't know what it is about Megan..

I'm pretty sure it's the way she says things.
but she is the FUNNIEST person I know.

Her sense of humor is HILARIOUS.
I'm not kidding.

I am laughing right now just thinking about how incredibely funny she is.
like I said before, she is the laugh of my life. haha. seriously.

I was thinking a while ago about how I moved away for school way too soon after placing Avery.. but I really don't regret it. Although I didn't get the BEST GRADES in the world, the people I met helped me cope with it all.

On the hard days while I was in Logan (and believe me..I had plenty), Megan would walk in, crack a joke, and I would completely forget the way I felt for the time being.

Megan is awesome.
I just wish that all of you knew her..because if you did, your lives would be oh so entertaining.

It's hard to understand how completely awesome this post is...unless you know Megan!

So read her blog!

this will give you at least a glimpse into Megan Bells complete awesomeness.
MISS YOU MEGAN!!

Splish Splash

I received another award from Crystal at Marvelous Masons! She is a mother of three, two of which are twins. I met her through blogging and wish oh so badly that one day I will have the amazing opportunity to meet her in person. Thank you Crystal!

When you receive this award you must:
1- Put the logo on your blog/post
2- Nominate up to 9 blogs which allure, amuse, bewitch, inspire or impress you
3- Let them know they've been splashed by commenting on their blog
4- Remember to link to the person from whom you received your Splash Award

Here are the 9 blogs I nominate:

Alisha from Nelson Newsletter -- Alisha is a birth mother that placed her little girl 5 years ago (give or take a year?) She is now married and has an adorable little boy. I love her blog!

Stefanie from Stefanie Jinelle's Journey - Stefanie is also a birth mother. She is due in September and was smart enough to create a blog to document her journey through this very emotional time. I am lucky enough to have become friends with Stefanie outside of the blogging world and am so blessed from it. Read Stefanie's blog. Good stuff there!

Stephanie from nieniedialogues - I'm pretty sure ALL of you know who this is. If this isn't inspiring I don't know what is. "Nie" is a very inspiring woman. She was a victim of a terrible plane accident last August of '08 and I get emotional many MANY times after reading her blog. She helps me see the blessings in my life. She is an amazing mother and person and I look up to her so very much. I have never said a word to her in my life..in fact, she doesn't even know I exist. But it wouldn't be right to NOT name her. Because she deserves so much more than that.

Becca from Our Life - I also met Becca through blogging and she is an awesome person. She is an adoptive mother and had the most ADORABLE little boy. I love her blog and I love her as a person. I wish so badly that one day I will have the opportunity to meet her as well. She also introduced me to twitter. So thanks to Becca, I have twitter! :)

Criscell from Criscell and Spencer - Criscell is an adoptive mother and interestingly enough the sister of my last roommate Elicia. I met her through Elicia while I was living with her and I am so happy I did! Criscell and Spencer are awesome people and I wouldn't have been able to have some of the opportunities I have had to speak about adoption if it wasn't for her!

Michelle from Michelles Path - She is also an adoptive mother of a BEAUTIFUL little girl. Her husband is currently serving in the air force overseas. He comes home very soon and I am so excited for that day! Michelle is a very awesome woman and a wonderful mommy!

Mae from Lovin' Every Minute - Mae is the mother of the ADORABLE little baby I babysit. She is a wonderful mom and has the CUTEST pictures on her blog. I love her little boy Conner SOO much and anyone that sees those pictures on her blog will just wanna eat him up!!

Mandy from Friendship Station - Mandy was my roommate up at Utah State. She one of the awesomest, funniest, coolest people I know! I miss her SO much and wish that I could be living with her again this semester! MISS YOU MANDY!!

and last, but MOST DEFINITELY not least...

Brittany from Rhapsodizing Moments - I met Brittany up at Utah State also. She was my best friend Keara's roommate. Brittany is the sweetest person anyone will ever meet! You can't be near Brittany without her giving you a compliment and being 100% sincere about it. Brittany is now one of my best friends and I miss her SOO much because she is ALSO up at Utah State!

Faith

I have been thinking about something lately

and

I want to share my feelings.

**I would like to say before though, that I would never try to talk someone into adoption.
I am an adoption advocate, but I in no way am I going to try to tell someone that adoption is the best choice for them. Every situtaion is different and unique.**

With that being said,
let me go on.

When I found out I was pregnant,
the first thing I thought of was not adoption.

In fact,
I did everything I could to avoid that because I knew it would cause a lot of pain on my end and I most definitely did not want that.
So Obviously,
my first option was going to be to get married.

The only problem was,
I wasn't in love.

Deep down I knew this, but ignored it because I wanted so badly to get married.

Two thoughts kept coming to my mind that would make it easier to go through with marriage.

1. I was probably never going to get married again if I didn't marry Kris. Why? because I knew that the kind of guy I wanted to marry was not going to want to marry someone that has already had a child.

2. I was the reason that Kris couldn't go on a mission. It would be rude just to leave him now right?

Although, neither of these reasons are good enough to marry and make the baby suffer, I wasn't thinking about that at the time.

I had to ask myself if I felt like that was a good enough reason to go through with a marriage that wont last. If it was a good enough reason to cause my child to suffer from my mistakes.

It took a bit for me to get my head on straight and to think about what mattered most in my situation.

My Baby.

So,
the best thing I could do if I really wanted to give this child the best life, was to have faith.

That was a hard concept to learn, but really, the hardest thing to handle was the question "Will I ever get married?"

I have had to constantly remind myself to have faith that the Lord will lead me to the man that I am supposed to marry.
I NEEDED faith that everything would work out in the end.
I NEEDED to have faith that what I was doing was right.

AND,
I still need to have faith.

I'm not married yet,
I don't see myself getting married anytime in the near future,
but I am just trusting in the Lord that it will happen when the time is right.

That is the hardest thing to do.
I think that FAITH is the key to placing your child for adoption.

I had to have faith that Avery was going to the right home.
I had to have faith that the Lord would bless me if I did what was right.
I had to have faith that Dustin and Andrea would be the kind of parents I wanted Avery to have.

Adoption is based on Faith,
and that is really the only thing that can get you through.

and
Eventually,
that Faith will pay off.

For Mae:

Conner took a few steps today and I got it on camera!!
(unfortunately, I didn't get the best footage..and the time he took the most steps..I didn't catch on camera. But he's SO adorable!)

Here's what I got:

haha wow I say come on a lot..
Yes I am aware that he is only in his diaper..he hates it when I get him dressed...so i let him roam free for a while. lol

I put this on here for Mae (Conners mom)

you think he'll be walking by October??