tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-45177871571585457982024-02-08T04:00:38.524-07:00Andee Leighjourney through adoption as a birth motherAndeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17864157962985816889noreply@blogger.comBlogger279125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-22270588198530581702012-11-03T23:03:00.000-06:002012-11-03T23:03:10.602-06:00Infertility<div style="text-align: center;">
Okay here's a post that I hope I can put into words. </div>
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I really really have been struggling with how to put these emotions into words and I'm going to do my best to get them out once and for all right here!</div>
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First things first,</div>
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I'm pregnant. </div>
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8.3 weeks to be exact.</div>
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We <em>were</em> trying this time and the excitement overwhelmed the both of us!</div>
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Smiles were glued to our faces for days!</div>
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We are so excited to welcome this next little one into our family!</div>
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However,</div>
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while all this excitement has been going on,</div>
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in the back of my mind there's been one thing. </div>
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Something that came completely to the surface today and it's to the point where my excitement and joy of being pregnant is being overcome with guilt and unworthiness. </div>
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I'm surrounded by many people in my life who struggle with infertility. </div>
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many INCREDIBLE people. </div>
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We announced our pregnancy on facebook on November 1st. </div>
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It's now the 3rd and I'm feeling really guilty about doing so. </div>
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Not because anyone has said anything, because they haven't!</div>
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But because everytime I read a blog post from one of my incredible friends about their infertile struggles, or everytime I talk to a loved one who struggles with this, I feel like my telling them or even TALKING about my pregnancy only reminds them of these struggles. I don't want to be that person!</div>
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I think about how incredibely <em>amazing </em>this people are and I just keep wondering <strong>why??</strong></div>
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It doesn't make sense why this happens. </div>
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I seriously could not thank the Lord enough for the tremendous blessing I've been given, but I feel guilty because there are MANY people out there much more deserving than me.</div>
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I feel almost like I'm flaunting it in everyones faces. </div>
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Like, whenever I say anything about my pregnancy on facebook or <em>anywhere</em> for that matter, that I'm showing off something that only hurts them more.</div>
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I don't want to be the reason for pain or heartache. </div>
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I don't want any of my friends to get on facebook and feel a stab of pain because of something I've posted. I don't want that!</div>
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I broke down tonight after reading a friends blog and I tried to run upstairs before Tyson could see me because I didn't want to admit out loud why I was really crying...but he caught me and forced it out of me. </div>
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He proceeded to tell me that the Lord gives us our blessing and trials for a reason and that I shouldn't feel guilty because it's not my fault...</div>
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but I already <em>know </em>that! I <em>know </em>it's not my fault...but I still feel like I'm a constant reminder of what infertile couples don't have and refraining from talking about it to them or on facebook, would prevent any unneccesary kind of pain.</div>
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I'm just writing this point because I really need to get my feelings out.</div>
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I don't know what to do...</div>
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If anyone has suggestions for me, I would be MORE THAN GRATEFUL to hear them. </div>
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I need to know if there's anything that is said by someone who is pregnant that only causes pain to those dealing with infertility. I need to know if it would be better if I didn't post anything else about my pregnancy, cravings, etc on facebook. </div>
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I'm SO SO excited and I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to bring another child into this world. I really don't know how to make that more clear, so I hope that whoever reads this, doesn't take it in thinking that I'm not realizing what I blessing this is, because I do!! I just don't want to hurt anyone in the process of enjoying and experiencing my blessing...</div>
Andeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17864157962985816889noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-14952427715902001872012-09-29T01:02:00.000-06:002012-09-29T01:09:19.571-06:00Fall<div style="text-align: center;">
I know it's been a while since I've posted here, </div>
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but I'm feeling the need to do it now. </div>
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Every year towards the end of September,</div>
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I begin a process.</div>
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It's like the Grieving process all over again. </div>
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<b>Every. Year.</b></div>
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It takes about an hour for me to drive to work every week.</div>
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I work every Friday night and for the past two weeks,</div>
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just minutes into the drive,</div>
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I have ended up crying my eyes out. </div>
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Let me explain.</div>
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October 11th 2008, </div>
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Keltson died</div>
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October 28th 2008, </div>
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Avery was born.</div>
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I have come to one conclusion. </div>
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This year, my grief has been significantly different for both subjects.</div>
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You'd think that since it's been 4 years,</div>
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I'd have come to terms with the fact that Keltson is gone.</div>
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I mean,</div>
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I'm happily married and I have a beautiful family.</div>
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I'm SO incredibly in love with my Husband.</div>
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Seriously,</div>
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he was made for me.</div>
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He gets me and understands me more than anyone else in this world.</div>
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Even ME sometimes.</div>
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So please don't take it the wrong way when I talk about Keltson.</div>
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Keltson was my very best friend back in '08.</div>
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He was there for me during the time I needed a friend the most.</div>
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He made sure I had a friend during the most difficult time in my life. </div>
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I can't even begin to express what an incredible person he was.</div>
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I know I know,</div>
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when someone dies, </div>
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people tend to put them on a pedestal.</div>
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I know that I do that to a degree sometimes,</div>
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but every fall, </div>
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I think about how I was able to spend he last few months of life with him.</div>
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and I'm not putting it on a pedestal. </div>
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I just remember our conversations or our adventures at 2 am. </div>
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I'm SO Grateful for him.</div>
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I needed him SO MUCH.<br />I was going through such a hard time in my life and I needed a friend JUST LIKE HIM.</div>
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I just hope it's normal that I'm having such a hard time accepting his death.</div>
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He was my best friend when he died. </div>
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I'm sure I wasn't his, but he was mine.</div>
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He was my ONLY friend for a long time throughout my pregnancy with Avery.</div>
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He helped me through and I am so grateful to him for that. </div>
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I just miss my friend. </div>
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I really do. </div>
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Tonight however,</div>
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I cried because of Avery.</div>
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It was different though.</div>
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Avery is where she is supposed to be and I have no doubt about that.</div>
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But feeling the crisp air on my face,</div>
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or the chill in the wind.</div>
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even the SMELL of fall,</div>
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brings back those memories of my days in the hospital with her.</div>
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I cry because I remember my heart breaking when I signed those papers.</div>
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When I left that hospital.</div>
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I remember the two months afterwards when every part of my motherly instincts were screaming and begging me to just go get her. </div>
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But it always ends with me thinking</div>
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"At least I can say I still get to hug her, talk to her, hold her and play with her"</div>
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I love that. <br />
I am SO glad we have an open adoption. </div>
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I'm SO glad that I still get to see the little angel that made me who I am. </div>
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She seriously opened my eyes to what's most important in life.</div>
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Even though she's not MINE,</div>
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she left her hand print right smack dab in the middle of my heart. </div>
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Seriously. </div>
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Avery is my little Angel and her hand print on my heart will never ever ever leave. </div>
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So as fall continues to bring back those feelings of my heart shattered on the floor,</div>
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with Avery, I don't think that will every leave.</div>
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To be honest, I don't really want it to.</div>
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That was such a spiritual time for me that when I think of it,</div>
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I remember what peace I felt through all of this.</div>
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as for Keltson...</div>
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well, I KNOW I'll never forget him.</div>
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ever.</div>
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But I do hope that one day I can accept the fact that he's gone. </div>
Andeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17864157962985816889noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-49502617505992265872012-04-22T17:27:00.000-06:002012-04-22T17:27:53.048-06:00MIAI know I've been MIA lately,<br />
and I'd like to blame that on the worlds most pathetic computer that ever existed.<br />
Aka, a PC.<br />
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Currently however, I'm on my moms Mac and THIS computer is the bomb.<br />
So since I have this opportunity, I would like to just write and make everyone (or the one person) who still reads this blog aware, that I have not abandoned it.<br />
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I still very much want to keep updating,<br />
it's just been hard since our computer has been broken for what feels like an eternity...and I will only tolerate how completely annoying it is about once a month when I update my personal blog...which on that computer takes double the time it takes to update from a normal computer.<br />
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So I'm sorry.<br />
I'm still absolutely in love with adoption.<br />
I still strongly believe it's the most incredible option in the world.<br />
and I still have a very open Adoption with Avery, Dustin and Andrea.<br />
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I am so glad I made the decision and whenever I even think about Avery,<br />
I feel so much peace in my heart.<br />
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So I hope that others can still come to this blog and receive the comfort their searching for whether it's about placement or adopting.<br />
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on another note I just want to make a promise to Avery, in writing, that I will NEVER let her down. I want her to grow up being proud of the woman I've become and I want her to see that although I made the decision to have premarital sex, I was able to make it right. I brought her into this world. She didn't have a choice and I hope that she knows that I placed her for adoption because I KNEW it would give her an eternal family and give her the life that she still wouldn't have if I had chosen to parent her.<br />
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I am married now, but it doesn't take away from the fact that she would not only have one father if I had chosen to parent, but she would have two. and she would have to be juggling between the both of them, using up her weekends to visit the one she wasn't living with. I love Avery SO much.<br />
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I promise you Avery that I will show you how you can bring the atonement into your life and I promise you that I will only make you proud of who I am. I will not disappoint you. I love you!!Andeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17864157962985816889noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-76002901176490882582011-11-30T07:17:00.000-07:002011-11-30T07:17:00.052-07:00I'm grateful for...#19<div style="text-align: center;">I have saved this one for last for a reason,</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I'm grateful for Avery Leigh. </div><div style="text-align: center;">She is the reason that I am who I am today.</div><div style="text-align: center;">She is the reason I have grown the way I have.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">She is the reason that I cherish Every moment of every day being a mom.</div><div style="text-align: center;">She is the reason that I look at motherhood with a whole new meaning.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Nobody else in this entire world could do to me what Avery has done.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I believe that her first mission on this earth, was to help me learn what it means to Sacrifice and what a blessing it is to be a mother. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I remember the day that I had with her in the hospital when it was just me and her.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I sat there holding her,</div><div style="text-align: center;">and she was staring up at me with what was most definitely, </div><div style="text-align: center;">a smile on her face.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
I knew that she was aware of what I was doing and that she was grateful for it.</div><div style="text-align: center;">It was like she was speaking to me through her eyes.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I knew that I was doing the right thing for her. </div><div style="text-align: center;">I know her Spirit was speaking to me that day.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I just love her so much and I am so eternally grateful for her.</div><div style="text-align: center;">She changed my life forever,</div><div style="text-align: center;">and I am forever grateful for it.</div>Andeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17864157962985816889noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-48102722662283540532011-11-29T14:15:00.002-07:002011-11-29T14:15:00.161-07:00I'm grateful for...#18<div style="text-align: center;">I'm so grateful for The Gospel.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
Without it,</div><div style="text-align: center;">I know without a doubt in my mind,</div><div style="text-align: center;">that I wouldn't have been able to get through this whole experience as well as I have.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">The Lord carries me through every step.</div><div style="text-align: center;">The process has gone so much more smoothly with His help.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I'm so grateful that I have been raised in this Church.<br />
There is no way that you can experience what I have, </div><div style="text-align: center;">and not KNOW that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is true. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I know it with ever Fiber of my being.</div><div style="text-align: center;">and I'm so grateful for it.</div>Andeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17864157962985816889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-1396670758040124742011-11-28T08:05:00.000-07:002011-11-28T08:05:01.443-07:00I'm grateful for...#17<div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">I'm so grateful for Eternal families.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Although Avery is a part of D&A's family here on this earth,</div><div style="text-align: center;">and I know that without a doubt;</div><div style="text-align: center;">I also know that we are all an Eternal Family. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I know that we will all eventually be a family, </div><div style="text-align: center;">because she was sealed to D&A in the Temple.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">If I hadn't placed her for adoption,<br />
she wouldn't have been sealed to me because her birthfather and I,</div><div style="text-align: center;">wouldn't have been sealed in the temple.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Adoption makes it so she is still able to be sealed to her parents.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I just love this Gospel. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">If this post is confusing beyond belief, try reading <a href="http://anabananandee.blogspot.com/2011/08/wish-i-have-parented.html" target="_blank">THIS</a>.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I go into more detail and explanation there :)</div>Andeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17864157962985816889noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-33741725854204424932011-11-27T11:57:00.000-07:002011-11-27T11:57:00.279-07:00I'm grateful for...#16<div style="text-align: center;">Although Adoption has helped me come to understand many things,</div><div style="text-align: center;">I think one of the most apparant and incredible things it has taught me,</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">is what a blessing it is to be a mother. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">My whole life I have always wanted to be a mother,</div><div style="text-align: center;">but it wasn't until I was faced with the decision to place Avery for adoption,</div><div style="text-align: center;">that I really came to understand what an honor it really is.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Being a mother is the greatest gift God has given me.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I thank Him every single day for this wonderful blessing.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I thank Him for allowing me to go through this Adoption experience because it really has opened my eyes to what an incredible blessing it is.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Thinking of this brings tears to my eyes. </div>Andeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17864157962985816889noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-69980050682605814322011-11-26T01:54:00.002-07:002011-11-26T12:05:36.674-07:00I'm grateful for...#15<div style="text-align: center;">I'm grateful for all around, Adoption blogs.</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">I know I've mentioned two in this list,</div><div style="text-align: center;">but it wouldn't be right to not mention all of the adoption blogs out there.</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">Every single one of them have an impact in one way or another. </div><div style="text-align: center;">I'm grateful and blessed to say that I get to be a part of all of this.</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">It's an incredible thing. It really is and I am certain that reading some of these adoption blogs,</div><div style="text-align: center;">have helped me heal in ways that I can't even explain.</div>Andeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17864157962985816889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-22705296203209072552011-11-25T13:45:00.006-07:002011-11-25T13:45:00.431-07:00I'm grateful for...#14<div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">I'm grateful for Adoption Advocates.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">If you're friends with me on facebook,</div><div style="text-align: center;">you may have seen recently that I posted about <a href="http://jojordynanne.blogspot.com/2011/11/why-do-i-write-about-adoption.html" target="_blank">the wife of a birth father</a>,</div><div style="text-align: center;">who was being attacked by a birth mother/Adoptive mother. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">She was telling her that because she wasn't a part of the adoption triad,</div><div style="text-align: center;">she should not be blogging about adoption.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">That is absurd to say the least.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I was fuming angry at this nasty commenter. </div><div style="text-align: center;">How could she say that to someone that is only supporting her husband and adoption!? </div><div style="text-align: center;">I said some harsh words <span style="font-size: xx-small;">(which maybe I shouldn't have...but boy did she hit a nerve</span>).</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I just have to say that I'm SO grateful for those that haven't been affected by adoption first hand,</div><div style="text-align: center;">yet they still support it just as if they were.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Because they want to share how much they have been blessed by it through other people. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div>Andeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17864157962985816889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-17080361183567056952011-11-24T11:42:00.000-07:002011-11-24T11:42:00.532-07:00I'm grateful for...#13<div style="text-align: center;">I'm grateful for Other birthmothers.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Knowing that there's other women out there that can relate to everything is a HUGE blessing.</div><div style="text-align: center;">They have helped me get through some times that I wasn't quite sure how I was going to do it.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">They've helped me know that I definitely was not alone and that there are other who have gone through it just like me.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I love that I have been able to interact with them,</div><div style="text-align: center;">one of which, has become an incredible friend.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><3 </div>Andeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17864157962985816889noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-31147712407430388302011-11-23T13:42:00.000-07:002011-11-23T13:42:23.569-07:00I'm grateful for...#12<div style="text-align: center;">I'm grateful for FSA conference.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">The first time I attended FSA, I was pregnant with Avery.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Dustin and Andrea made me aware of it and brought me with them.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I've been in love ever since.</div><div style="text-align: center;">The FSA Conference, to me is like an EFY for Adoption.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I love the way I feel about it.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I love the way Adoption makes me feel and the Spirit is always so apparant through the entire thing.</div>Andeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17864157962985816889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-34756420864576557732011-11-22T07:14:00.000-07:002011-11-22T07:14:00.070-07:00I'm grateful for...#11<div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">I'm so grateful for a Supportive Husband and Family.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Tyson has been supportive towards me since day one.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Since the moment he discovered I was pregnant, not only was he so forgiving, </div><div style="text-align: center;">but he made me feel like I was still important and that this did not define who I was.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">He wrote me all through his mission and still helped me feel like I was wanted.</div><div style="text-align: center;">He was so forgiving I just can't believe how incredible he was and has been. </div><div style="text-align: center;">He continues to support me through everything and even comes with me to the adoption presentations (when he's not working) and shares his thoughts and feelings. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I just love him!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">My family as well.</div><div style="text-align: center;">If it hadn't been for them,</div><div style="text-align: center;">I can honestly say I would have died.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I was so depressed numerous amounts of times and I could always count on my mom, dad or sisters to cheer me up. My mom was especially supportive and helped me through the entire pregnancy/labor.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I'm so grateful for each and every one of them.</div>Andeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17864157962985816889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-42500340389205210712011-11-21T08:11:00.000-07:002011-11-21T08:11:00.243-07:00I'm grateful for...#10<div style="text-align: center;">I'm grateful for <a href="http://www.therhouse.com/">Mrs. R.</a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I learned about her Through Andrea right towards the end of the pregnancy.</div><div style="text-align: center;">She has done so many things for the adoption world.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">She has organized events, done everything she can to help birth parents and is an all around incredible woman. She helped me get through some tough times too and her blog has done so much good.</div>Andeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17864157962985816889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-36428987345427331642011-11-20T22:08:00.001-07:002011-11-21T00:11:20.591-07:00I'm grateful for...#9<div style="text-align: center;">I'm not only grateful, but it was just an all around great feeling,</div><div style="text-align: center;">to know that I was placing Avery with a family that was financially stable.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">They are so so great at saving their money and have always seemed like they can afford the things they need.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">It was comforting to know that,</div><div style="text-align: center;">because at that time of my life, I was ANYTHING but financially stable!</div><div style="text-align: center;">haha My parents might have been,</div><div style="text-align: center;">but I wasn't even close to financially ready to raise a child.</div>Andeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17864157962985816889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-17690440276297334152011-11-19T12:00:00.001-07:002011-11-21T00:07:28.308-07:00I'm grateful for...#8<div style="text-align: center;">I'm grateful for Supportive Blog readers.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">It felt SO GOOD to receive comment after comment from people that gave me support.</div><div align="center">Most of them I didn't even KNOW and it was soo helpful to hear the kind words.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">Not only did it help confirm to me that I did the right thing,</div><div align="center">But it helped my self esteem too.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">So,</div><div align="center">Thanks to all of you that have been so supportive. </div><div align="center">I can't even begin to explain how grateful I am for that!</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><em>p.s. I received a question on the post I did about music.</em></div><div align="center"><em>Besides Michael Mclean, Cheri Call (I think that's her name) sings a song called "Delivery" aboud Adoption which is SO good. </em></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><em>There's also a song by a man named Mark Shultz who sings a song called "everything to me" </em></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><em>Other than that, the song "One more Day" By diamond rio really hit home for me.</em> </div><div align="center"><em>I loved all those songs. They really helped :)</em></div>Andeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17864157962985816889noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-23805274826257245772011-11-18T10:00:00.000-07:002011-11-18T10:00:02.806-07:00I'm grateful for...#7<div style="text-align: center;">I'm grateful for pictures.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Not only is it so good to be able to see pictures of Avery,</div><div style="text-align: center;">but it's fun to show others that I'm close to.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Especially the ones that want to know how she is doing,</div><div style="text-align: center;">but haven't ever seen her...or only saw her in the hospital when she was born.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">It's so great to have pictures where I can show others beautiful Avery.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Including those I give Adoption Presentations to.</div>Andeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17864157962985816889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-51976094244407193882011-11-17T09:55:00.000-07:002011-11-17T09:55:00.735-07:00I'm grateful for...#6<div style="text-align: center;">I'm grateful for Music about Adoption.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">There is something about words and music together that is so comforting.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Music was something that helped me during and especially after placing Avery for Adoption. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I would listen to it all the time and even cry with it sometimes.</div><div style="text-align: center;">It was therapeutic.</div><div style="text-align: center;">It also helped me realize that someone else in this world had experienced what I'd experienced.</div><div style="text-align: center;">It helped me to know that I wasn't alone.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
It also helped me express how I was feeling. </div>Andeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17864157962985816889noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-40327291300286595032011-11-15T11:11:00.000-07:002011-11-15T11:11:00.275-07:00I'm grateful for...#5<div style="text-align: center;">I'm grateful for <strong>the Foster to Adopt program.</strong> </div><div style="text-align: center;">Without it,</div><div style="text-align: center;">I wouldn't have my cute little brothers in my life. They are so sweet and bring such a joy to everyone in the family.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I also wouldn't be married to Tyson. </div><div style="text-align: center;">It's because of Foster to adopt, that I met him.</div><div style="text-align: center;">He is the Love of my life and I am so grateful that I'm married to him. </div>Andeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17864157962985816889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-156736493658358672011-11-14T11:06:00.001-07:002011-11-14T11:06:00.748-07:00I'm grateful for...#4<div style="text-align: center;">I'm grateful for <strong>good Communication</strong>.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Without it,</div><div style="text-align: center;">Open Adoptions would be a mess.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I strongly believe that Communication is <strong>#1</strong> in having a successful Open Adoption. </div><div style="text-align: center;">I'm so grateful that Dustin, Andrea and I have learned how to communicate,</div><div style="text-align: center;">and that if there is any miscommunication, </div><div style="text-align: center;">we're able to talk about it and get it resolved so so quickly. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><3</div>Andeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17864157962985816889noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-65106767004476857252011-11-13T12:00:00.000-07:002011-11-13T12:00:00.846-07:00I'm grateful for...#3<div style="text-align: center;">I'm grateful for LDSFS.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">The way they treat Birthmothers is so awesome.</div><div style="text-align: center;">They give us free counseling for life and not once have I ever felt like I was bugging them.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">They treat Birthmothers like Gold.</div><div style="text-align: center;">It's been 3 years and I still feel like they would be there in a split second if I needed it.</div>Andeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17864157962985816889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-33041522754936182062011-11-12T07:47:00.002-07:002011-11-12T07:47:00.190-07:00I'm grateful for...#2<div style="text-align: center;"><strong>I'm grateful for Dustin and Andrea.</strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">They have made the entire adoption experience so much easier than I could have ever dreamed.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Both of them always know exactly what to say when I come to them about something.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Whether it's adoption related or not,</div><div style="text-align: center;">they are incredible at getting through to me about anything.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I feel so blessed to have them in my lives. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Adoption brought them to me and I'm so grateful for it.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I have received lifelong friends through this experience.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Andrea and I have this relationship that I don't think anyone else in this entire world has.</div><div style="text-align: center;">It's brought me so much <span style="background-color: white;">peace.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Our relationship goes so much further than just adoption and I know that not everyone can say that.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I don't know what I did to deserve the honor of knowing them,</div><div style="text-align: center;">but I'm so grateful for it. </div>Andeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17864157962985816889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-47382110851251866572011-11-11T11:43:00.002-07:002011-11-11T11:43:00.674-07:00I'm grateful for...#1<div style="text-align: center;">I'm so grateful for <strong>Open Adoption</strong>.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Without it,</div><div style="text-align: center;">I don't know where I'd be in my life.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Especially Emotionally.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I know without a doubt that if Open Adoption had not been available for me,</div><div style="text-align: center;">I would not have healed as well as I have. </div><div style="text-align: center;">I am 100% certain that Open Adoption is one of the biggest reasons I have been able to move on with my life. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I'm so grateful for it and I am constantly thanking my Heavenly Father for this opportunity. </div>Andeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17864157962985816889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-63585362418636935272011-11-10T11:32:00.001-07:002011-11-10T11:36:55.999-07:00November is good at trying to escape...but I have caught it just in time<div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">I am very fully aware of the fact that November is National Adoption month.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I feel terrible for failing miserabely at posting about it so far. It's already the 10th!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">There has been so much going on in my life that I've completely lost track of time.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I can't believe that this month is already 1/3 of the way through. </div><div style="text-align: center;">I've been trying to decide what to do about this since it's way too late to do what I usually do. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">(unless you're aware of <a href="http://anabananandee.blogspot.com/search/label/Hoping%20to%20Adopt">what I usually do </a>and you want to quickly shoot me an email, I can spotlight you :))</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I've decided,</div><div style="text-align: center;">that although it's going to be short and sweet,</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">at least it will be SOMETHING</span>,</div><div style="text-align: center;">I'm going to post about one thing I'm grateful for everyday for the rest of the month and why. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Of course it's going to all be adoption related,</div><div style="text-align: center;">because lets face it,</div><div style="text-align: center;">Adoption has changed my life and made me who I am today. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I'm so sorry for my lack of posts. </div><div style="text-align: center;">My daughter has been experiencing some medical problems and we found out recently that she is going to need surgery; which has resulted in me feeling all sorts of emotions and being very distracted. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I hope I can make up for it somehow!</div>Andeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17864157962985816889noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-22880562923994033562011-10-14T16:26:00.000-06:002011-10-14T16:26:53.914-06:00<div style="text-align: center;">I entered Kalista into a model search for a Baby Store.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">They win based on how many likes HER PICTURE receives on their Facebook page</div><div style="text-align: center;">So I have a favor to ask of all of my followers.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Will you PLEASE go <a href="http://www.facebook.com/#!/photo.php?fbid=188461511229369&set=a.188010271274493.46569.151510348257819&type=3&theater">HERE</a> and like their page first, <span style="font-size: xx-small;">(the vote doesn't count unless you're a fan of their page)</span></div><div style="text-align: center;">and then go to Kali's picture and Like it?</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I would be forever grateful. </div><div style="text-align: center;">I am hoping to get to 200 likes!!</div>Andeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17864157962985816889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-15892806108962446502011-10-06T22:57:00.000-06:002011-10-06T22:57:53.928-06:00Time for an apology<div style="text-align: center;">Here's another post, with my poor, very poor writing skills. </div><div style="text-align: center;">But I"m gonna try k? haha</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">When I'm pregnant, I'm so much more moody than anyone can even fathom.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I've been feeling pretty bad about this for quite some time, </div><div style="text-align: center;">but now I'm going to just suck it up and admit that I was wrong. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://anabananandee.blogspot.com/2011/01/one-thing-i-am-more-passionate-about.html">THIS</a> is the post I'm talking about.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I don't take back the way I feel about the subject,</div><div style="text-align: center;">but I do take back the way I went about writing it.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I understand that there are good and bad ways to go about things and I know I went about this the wrong way. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I could have been more <em>sensitive</em> to other peoples feelings.</div><div style="text-align: center;">But in all honesty, </div><div style="text-align: center;">I have the HARDEST time understanding how someone can sit there and think Abortion is okay.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I don't get what goes on in their brains and I never will.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Here's the thing.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I get my point across when I keep my temper under control.</div><div style="text-align: center;">When I get angry about something, </div><div style="text-align: center;">I can be MEAN. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Not just rude, downright mean. Not on purpose.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I just get so frustrated that I say EXACTLY what is on my mind.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Yes I'm one of those people.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I don't really sugar coat anything. When I feel a certain way, I just say it.</div><div style="text-align: center;">That get's 10x worse when I'm pregnant.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I understand that it's bad but in all honesty, I would LOVE if people were always completely honest with me.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> That way, if they didn't like me, I wouldn't have to waste my time. Plus can you imagine that great communication!? </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">haha I'm serious.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Sometimes I just hate it when people don't tell me if I'm bugging them, or if they like something I said, or anything like that. I just would absolutely love it if everyone just always said what was on their mind. BUT. That's not how the world is and everyone wants to think that everyone thinks they're perfect.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Crap. I did it again.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Sorry. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Anyway,</div><div style="text-align: center;">back to why I am making this post.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">That Abortion post I made was very blunt and not sugar coated at all.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I don't sugar coat the way I feel about adoption, so I figured I shouldn't sugar coat anything...cause it's the way I am! </div><div style="text-align: center;">But I am writing to say I'm sorry.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I'm sorry for the Harsh words. I'm sorry for being so blunt.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I know this is my blog. I know I should be able to say what I want, but I have not been able to get that post off of my mind since I posted it. It's the reason I stopped writing on here so much.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">It was because I was so hormonal and pregnant. </div><div style="text-align: center;">That's not a good excuse, but seriously. I'm mean when I'm pregnant.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Ask my husband. Bless him for putting up with me. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Nobody is perfect okay?</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">But this is my sincere apology.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I'm sorry for offending those that I offended.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I'm not saying that I agree with you, but I am saying sorry for the words that I said and the way I went about it. I should not have been so harsh. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><3</div>Andeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17864157962985816889noreply@blogger.com1