This is why I love Carrie Underwood.

 Such an Amazing, Talented, AWESOME Woman.

She's my Idol.

A New Man....

yes. That's right.

I've got a new man in my life.

BUT,

because I learned my lesson with the last boy.

The new man...

He's,

well...

He's just a dream.

haha.

Know who Jensen Ackles is??

He's an Actor.

and he's SOO ATTRACTIVE.

I've been in love with him since I discovered him.

Keara and I are crossing our fingers that he will be playing Jared 

from Stephanie Meyers book "The Host".

YES

They are making that book into a movie too.

I read that book before I even knew who Jensen Ackles was...

and I gotta tell you,

he is exactly who I imagined as Jared.

I love him.

Then,

the other day, 

I discovered this Video:

HE SINGS AND PLAYS THE GUITAR TOO!!!

Seriously.

All I've gotta do now is Send some Missionaries his way. ;) 

hehe.

I'm in love.

"Here you go. Maybe this will help."

DON'T FORGET TO READ THE HOPING TO ADOPT COUPLE FOR TODAY! IT'S THE ONE BEFORE THIS POST!

*****
So early early Friday morning,

Me, My two younger sisters (Emilee and Kaitlyn), my Mom, my aunt MaryJane, my cousin Courtney and my friend Terri and her Husband all went to the the opening night of Twilight.

You have NO idea how long I had anticipated it.

I COULD NOT wait.

I'm in love with Jacob.

I'm a Jacob fan ALL THE WAY!

We went to the 2:45am showing.

We bought the tickets two months ago..the 2:45 showing was the only one left!

Let me just say,

I was NOT disappointed.

Really. I saw it again last night with my little brother.

haha I LOVE it.

Jacob is so attractive!

Anyway,

Emilee, Kaitlyn and I made shirts on Thursday night before the movie:

All three of us are Jacob Fans.

(Emilee's shirts says "Not Me" on the back..in case you were wondering ;))

Me, Emilee, MJ, and Courtney

It was SO fun.

SO worth the money (both times)

and SO worth being up until 5:30 am.

You should go see it.

So,

Yesterday I was in class.

The whole class was having a discussion.

One girl started talking about her son.

(she's about my age)

Usually I would be fine.

But for some reason that started a stream of emotion.

I began REALLY missing Avery and started wishing I had a daughter to tell stories about.

It was just one of those moments. I couldn't relate to this girl, because I am not the mother of the little girl I gave birth too. 

(I had about 6 hours of sleep, which is usually the amount of sleep I've been getting.)

I then started tuning everyone out.

I was working on keeping the tears from falling out of my eyes.

So I began texting a birthmom that I have not met IRL yet, but we text all the time and she always makes me feel better.  Her name is Nicole.

Well,

after her first reply,

Andrea texted me asking how I was doing.

She always does this.

It's like she knows when I'm having a hard time and I can't take it anymore.

So I just replied telling her I was fine and asked her a question about when they will be approved and on LDSFS site to adopt again.

She answered the question and then said "Are you sure you're okay?"

I swear I stared at the text for a whole two minutes.

I was trying to figure out if I had said anything that made her think I wasn't.

We had been texting each other a couple hours before that and I was fine.

So I replied asking her what made her text me.

and then told her how I was feeling.

She said she just sometimes got fleeting thoughts to contact me and see how I'm doing.

I Love her.

we talked for a few more minutes and then about a half hour later, Dustin texted me.

(At this point,

I was doing better.

Both Nicole and Andrea had calmed me down and I wasn't trying to hold back tears anymore. )

He said that he was sorry I was having a hard time.

I replied letting him know that I was doing better...

and this was his response:

"Here you go. Maybe this will help."

haha I lauged for about 10 minutes and was suddenly completely fine.

I love them.

Seriously.

Dustin and Andrea always know what to say.

and Dustin knew I had seen Twilight the night before and that I love Jacob/Taylor Lautner.

(he's only two years younger than me..that's not bad. lol)

I came home after class, took a nap and when I woke up I was feeling so comforted.

I had to say a silent prayer in thanks for Dustin and Andrea.

Andrea is so close to the spirit.

She is always listening and acting on the promptings she receives.

I know that's how she knew something was wrong.

Film and Culture

My goal this semester has been to get a 4.0.

I have been taking only 3 classes this Semester (11 Credits)

(not including Insititute)

so It wouldn't be that hard.

Well,

One of those classes are Film and Culture.

It is a Humanities credit.

Here is a little how the first day of class went:

I walked in, looked over and noticed my teacher was a girl

(which kind of caught me off guard since the name on the schedule was a mans name)

When I was about to sit down this teacher started talking.

It was at the moment that I realized this was not a girl.

It was a man.

A transvestite.

I looked around at everyone in the class trying to figure out if I was the only one shocked by this discovery and somewhat nauseas. 

I did notice a few big eyes but nothing as shocking as I felt.

Then we started going over the Syllabus.

The teacher went on to explain that most of the movies we would be watching in this class were going to be rated R and that if anyone was uncomfortable with that, they should drop out now.

If we missed class, our grade would drop half a grade.

I remember sitting there arguing with myself.

I KNEW that I should probably drop out.

Here was my way of rationalizing myself into staying in the class.
and that's exactly what happened.

"There are no other humanities classes that I can take that aren't filled. I need to get this over with.  The movies won't be that bad since they all pertain to culture. It's for class so watching a rated R movie won't go against my values."

yeah I know. Pathetic.

After choosing to stay,

we have watched movie after movie that made me physically sick almost every time.

I managed to get through the movies that were rated R mainly because of the language

(which still bothered me).

I did NOT however, appreciate the movies about homosexuality.

It was just promoting homosexuality, and bringing the Church into it.

I have already missed class one time.

(because I forgot about class due to my busy schedule and I was kicking myself for it all day afterwards.)

So there went my 4.0

I would have an A- in that class, but it was close enough.

But today,

When I went to class.

The teacher announced the movie, which was a film about Christ.

We have already watched one movie about Christ that brought probably the worst feeling to me that I have EVER felt and I will NOT allow that feeling again.

I have a testimony of this Gospel.

I have a testimony of Christ and what He did for us.

So when we were sent to get food before the movie I started feeling very emotional.

I wasn't sure why.

I called my mom and asked her if she had any information about this movie and if she thought it would be okay to see.

My mom looked up the reviews and tried to decide with me on whether or not I should stay to see it.

I was praying silently while I talked to her for an answer to what I should do.

While she was looking it up I had this really strong emotion come over me and I started crying.

I started to realize that the only reason I wanted to stay was because of my grade. That was it.

The reasons I would leave was because of my Testimony of the Gospel.

If this movie was going to be anything like the last one we watched, I didn't even want a HINT of that horrible feeling I felt.  I told my mom I didn't think I was going to stay and I couldn't stop crying. I don't know why I just couldn't stop crying.

I was emotional all the way home because I was so angry with myself for taking this class.

When I got home,

my emotion left.  I prayed that if I had made the right decision not to go, then to help me forget about that class for the next couple of hours that I was supposed to be in class.

and that's exactly what happened.

I made the wrong decision to take this class.

I should have just dropped out.

I knew that taking it was the wrong decision, but I was doing it because I needed a Humanities credit NOW for some reason.

I'm embarrased to say I even allowed myself to watch some of the things I saw in that classroom.

It opened my eyes to how scary this world is.

Although the homosexuality video angered me and I would have been better off NOT seeing it,

the other movie about Christ angered me more.  The feeling it brought was one I have never felt before and one I will NOT let myself ever feel again.

Hero On the Bus

I heard a story on Sunday night that really had me choked up.
Not many news stories HAVE had me like this unless I knew the person,
but this one was very different.

Most of you (especially those living in Utah/Idaho) have probably heard THIS story this week.

After I couldn't get this band instructor and her family off my mind,
I received a email from my INCREDIBLE uncle Joe.

He writes a column for a section in the newspaper called ValueSpeak.

His kids went/have gone to American Fork High school so I am sure they knew this amazing woman.
Uncle Joe sends all of the family his article every week and I would really like to share this one because it really got to me.

I recommend reading it.
Enjoy:

ValueSpeak

A Weekly Column
By Joseph Walker


HERO ON THE BUS

They’re calling her a hero. They
are correct – she is. But maybe not for the reason they’re giving.

At
least, not entirely.

Her name was Heather, and she was a teacher.
Bright, articulate, hard-working, creative and fun, she probably would have been
successful at anything she put her mind to. Certainly, she could have made more
money than she was making as a secondary school teacher. But she was passionate
about teaching. Most especially, she was passionate about teaching music.

And she was good at it. Young people responded to her, as they usually
do to adults who sincerely like them and who clearly want them to be happy and
successful. They liked her because she liked them, and they listened to her
because they knew she cared.

Heather was part of a team of dedicated
teachers who helped to create a championship-caliber high school marching band.
This band was – and still is – the toast of its region, and if it isn’t the best
high school band in the United States, it is certainly in the discussion. Most
who know and respect the band attribute their success to visionary leadership,
talented kids and an extraordinary work ethic. Heather was deeply involved in
all of that, and she savored every moment she spent with her kids.

Last
weekend, for example, was spent at a marching band competition in a neighboring
state. They won the competition – as usual – with Heather alternately stressing,
encouraging and cheering from the sidelines. After celebrating their victory,
they loaded up the four buses required to carry the entire band and started for
home at about 8:30 in the evening, with Heather sitting right up front of the
bus carrying “her” kids: the woodwind section.

About an hour into the
three-hour trip home something happened. Exactly WHAT happened is still a little
unclear. According to those who were on the bus there was a medical problem with
the bus driver. Heather called out to the driver as the bus began to careen off
the side of the road. When it was clear there was a problem, Heather leapt to
the driver’s side and tried to take control of the steering wheel as the bus
bounced wildly over treacherous terrain. She wasn’t able to get the bus back
onto the road, but at least she was able to keep it from going further out into
the darkness away from the road. Still, the terrain, the speed and the steering
struggles proved to be too much for the heavily loaded vehicle, and it
eventually tipped over on its side before sliding to a stop.

As you
might expect, the students on the bus were terrified. It was chaotic and
traumatic, and a number of them were injured in the accident – thankfully, none
critically.

None, that is, except for Heather. As she battled to control
the bus she placed herself in a precarious and vulnerable position. As the
vehicle lurched and reeled and began to roll, she was thrown through the
windshield. Adults from the other buses and emergency personnel did everything
they could, but eventually the students had to be informed that Heather had
died.

The loss of their teacher and friend was overwhelming to the
students, especially after it became clear that Heather’s efforts to steer the
bus back to safety had prevented the vehicle from crashing into a deep, rocky
ravine a few yards from where the bus finally settled.

“There’s no
telling how many lives she saved,” one highway patrol officer said at the scene.
“If that bus had gone into the ravine . . .” The thought was too horrible to
complete.

So, yes – Heather’s actions last Saturday evening were heroic.
I gratefully acknowledge that. But in my mind, that isn’t what makes her a hero.
As impressive as what she did on the bus is, I’m even more impressed by the
simple fact that she was on the bus. She was there for her students. She
responded when she was needed. And she made a difference in their lives – a
difference they will remember as long as they live.

I think it’s that
way with most teachers. Sure, there are bad apples in the teaching profession,
just as there are bad lawyers, bad doctors, bad engineers and – heaven forbid –
bad newspaper columnists. But my experience suggests that teachers teach because
they care. They want to be there for their students. They are anxious and
willing to respond whenever they are needed. And their greatest desire is to
make a positive difference in the lives of their students.

When you
choose to be a teacher you’re not choosing a path that will lead to fame or
fortune. In fact, you are likely choosing to live a simple, quiet life. But you
are choosing a path that matters in the lives of students and their families –
past, present and future.

And that choice, to me, is heroic.

In
the classroom, the practice field, the auditorium, the laboratory, the
gymnasium.

Or on the bus.

So touched and completely inspired

I'm SURE everyone has heard of NieNie, right?

Okay well,
I just have to share this amazing story.
grab tissues because I PROMISE you will cry.

First, read THIS.

Then, watch THIS video.

oh wow.

She was on Oprah yesterday.
Whenever I read or see anything PERTAINING to Nie, I have a reality check VERY quickly and becomes SO grateful for my life.

I'm so grateful for my body
I'm so grateful that I am able to pick up little kids, including my future children.
I'm SO grateful for this Gospel.

I love Nie.
She is an amazing woman.

I NEED YOUR HELP!!

OOKay here is the deal.

remember how I entered a video in a contest on adoption voices??

well,

I made it to the top ten and then I received an email explaining that the songs were a copyright violation and that I had to change those songs.

Unfortunately,

I didn't know WHAT songs WEREN'T a copyright violation so I had to just take out the music all together.

I know,

pathetic right??

The video is now VERY pathetic, but I am still in the top ten.

now,

Whoever receives the most comments on their video wins.

So here is where YOU come in.

I would LOOOVEE if you commented on my video.

I WOULD LOVE YOU FOREVER!

You can find the real video (with the music) at the bottom of my blog (just scroll down!)

Then,

you can see the contest video by going HERE

and I would ADORE comments!!

PLEASE!?!? :)

(you think doing this is a violation??..I hope not! haha)

The winner gets $100... :):)

the final video

Thank you everyone for your comments on the video!!!

I have edited it a little more after getting different peoples opinons and here is the final one!

It's ALMOST the same, but I wrote a little more about my experience, and I shortened the video at the end..mostly.

BUT,
this is THE OFFICIAL CONTEST VIDEO!!

Which means,
the more views it receives,
the higher my chances are of winning!!

So I just HAD to post the final one!!


Find more videos like this on Adoption Voices


Thanks again!! :)

Adoption Voices

So adoptionvoices.com is having a contest.
It's an adoption story video contest.
The winner gets $100.

I made this video for the contest and I need some opinions.

I was wondering if I should take out the last song or not?
or should I Just take out the video at the end?
or is it good as is?

Any other advice???

I WANNA WIN!! hehe

What do you think of it??

THANKS!!

SORRY!!!!

Okay so my dad just informed me of something.

When he was reading my last post...

the 16 and pregnant one,

it showed him a PRETTY DISTURBING COMMERCIAL

(I won't go into detail to save your sanity)

I deleted the post because I'm embarrassed to have that on my blog!!

So to everyone that was unlucky enough to have to see THAT commercial...I'm SO sorry!!

It didn't do that for me!

haha forgive me.

You Know Why!

So Keara, Terri and I had a girls night tonight.
I completely forgot how much fun they were.
I missed them INCREDIBELY.

At around 6:30,
Keara and I went to the temple to do Baptisms.

It was a much needed trip.
It was so comforting and so refreshing.

I seriously needed it.
I haven't gone in so long and forgot how amazing it is.
I love this Gospel.

Afterwards,
we decided to go to Chili's for dinner.
As we were leaving,
Terri called and said that she was free (FOR ONCE) and wanted to do something.

So she met us at Chili's and we had SO MUCH FUN.
I can't even tell you how much I missed it.

We had A LOT to catch up on.
it's been a while since it has been just us three.

(please remember that we had just finished doing Baptisms and I didn't fix my hair OR makeup afterwards...)

While we were there we started talking about Terri's nail school classes that she is currently taking.

She just finished learning how to do Glitter Toes and said she wanted to do ours.
So we decided to go back to my house to watch a movie and do our nails.

So we did.
We watched the movie What Happens in Vegas.

If you haven't seen this movie,
I highly HIGHLY recommend it.

The reason we decided to watch this movie is because of our two FAVORITE scenes:




You have no idea how many different ways I have imagined doing this to a certain someone lately...
Actually, more like how many different ways Keara and our awesome friend Brittany have imagined doing this to him. I laugh hysterically everytime after listening to all their many different plans...sometimes I think (and secretely hope) that they are serious...(hehe..hey you can't blame me)

Anyway,
here's Terri in action.

Want your toes to look like these?
(they look 1000 times BETTER in person. Seriously. LOVE them.)


Call Terri!!
She only Charges $15 which is a SUPER good deal.

Make an appointment today:
209-777-3310

New Moon Trailer!

The Twilight sequal New Moon's trailer just came out yesterday

AHH I CANNOT wait for the movie.
Here's the trailer.

(you can double click on the screen to get to the youtube page so that it will show the full screen)

If I'm the only one...

I woke up this morning to my mom telling me to come upstairs and watch this music video on T.V.

As I lugged my tired body upstairs and started watching it I became incredibely Annoyed that they would wake me up just to watch something that was so incredibely dumb....

(especially that part at the diner..definitely the dumbest part)

Then it got to the end...and I almost cried. It was so cute!

So,
I really think you should watch THIS video.

Just endure it all the way to the end.

don't SKIP to the end though, or you won't get it.

It's SOO good.

it made me teary

Seven Pounds

This is a good movie.

I have mixed emotions about it though.

It has a good message to it I think.

But,

can I just say,

I could have gotten by without seeing this scene.

I bawled like a baby when I watched this part.

I LOVED the movie,

but I don't think I will watch it again all because of this one scene

I can't handle it.

I seriously think it was too much for me.

I saw this movie last week,

and

I have not been able to get it out of my head since then.

My roomates watched it yesterday,

and

I couldn't watch it.

even LISTENING to it caused tears to stream down my face.

I know it's just a movie, but can you blame me?

It's still hard not to want to just jump through that screen,

take that headset off of him and just give him a huge hug,

while telling him what an amazing guy he is.

seriously.

does anyone else agree with me here??

(wow, I sound like such a baby...but I'm really not..I swear..lol)

I missed him!!!

I don't know about you but my family and I are HUGE American Idol fans.
We Record all episodes on our DVR just in case we aren't able to make it to the T.V. in time for 7 oclock...
plus you can fast forward through all of the commercials. :)

WELL,
Last night we recorded American Idol and didn't start watching it until about 8 oclock...

UNFORTUNATELY,
because they changed it to one hour instead of two...Idol went longer than planned.

obviously our DVR doesn't know those things,
and that resulted in me missing my FAVORITE contestant,

Adam Lambert!!

I was SUPER upset until.....
I found this on the home page of my web browser Today....

(If the video doesn't show up, you can go HERE.)

I was SO excited to see that I could actually watch his awesome performance..
This guy has got TALENT!!!!

I recommend you watch...
wait until you see Simons reaction :):)

GO ADAM LAMBERT!!!

24

my obsession.

This is my future husband.

Jack Bauer.