To be 4 again.

I've been having a difficult time lately.

Not with the Adoption though.

In fact,

I've never been better when it comes to the Adoption.

Just as far as life and where mine is going.

I have a hard time seeing my future sometimes.

I can't see past right now.

I don't know where life is going to take me and that scares me sometimes.

Yeah I'm going to school and working.

but that's boring and I don't really want to be doing that for the rest of my life.

I don't want to do any career for the rest of my life.

The only thing I WANT to do is be a wife and mother.

(I don't care how hard it is. To be either one.)

but there is no guarantee that will happen.

So it's hard for me to move on with school and stuff when I don't really want to do that forever.

I've been really thinking about this lately.

It's not like I'm not TRYING to accomplish my goal to be a wife and mother.

I am dating.

I go out on dates.

I just haven't really dated anyone that I am really interested in enough to keep dating.

I'm not picky.

I just have requirements for my future husband.

and it's really hard to date when the guys I date don't fit those requirements...

it seems the only people I attract are opposite of what I want.

It's really depressing.

Anyway,

I'm going off on a tangent now.

This morning, I was sitting around being lazy (I love the days I can do that)

and I was watching cartoons with my little brother Joey and friend Krista's Son, Nate.

Joey got up and asked me if he could go to his friend Gage's house across the street.

I said yes and told him to watch for cars.

He threw on his shoes and Jacket and ran out the door into the snowy weather.

After the door closed,

I went over to the window to watch him cross the street to make sure he did watch for cars and that he got there safe.

When he got to the curb of our street, he stopped looked both ways for cars and then stood there for about two minutes.

I was wondering what he was doing, when he looked up into the sky, letting the huge snowflakes fall on his face.  I watched him as he sat there for a good minute, then looked both ways again and ran across the street.

I sat down in the chair in our living room, still watching him out the window and started thinking about my life and all of the stresses that come with it. I was on the verge of tears when, after there was no answer from Gage's house, Joey again walked to the end of their driveway to the curb, looked up at the sky, put his arms out and started spinning around in circles, obviously enjoying this weather.

That 4 year old boy enjoys life so much. 

He was enjoying this weather and dancing in the (what I see as dreadful) snow. 

He didn't have a worry in the world and you could see that as he spun around. 

I had to take a picture of him when he got back inside.

My dad calls Joey Tigger.

The boy doesn't just walk, he bounces when he walks, or skips.

He is such a happy kid.

One day my dad asked Joey "If you could be anyone in the world, who would you be?"

Joey looked at him for a second and then answered with complete confidence, "Joey."

This kid teaches me so much.

I know I need to enjoy life.

It would be so nice not to have a stress in the world.

It would be nice if I could answer "Andee" when someone asked me who I would be if I could be anyone in the world.

I'm not very confident and I think that is a huge problem.

I am going to start trying...as hard as possible, to enjoy life like my little brother does.

I won't let my future haunt me.

I will live in the present and hopefully,

one day,

I WILL find my prince charming.

I WILL marry for eternity in the temple

and I WILL in fact, one day, be a mother.

I know I'm only 20.

But that doesn't mean my future is easy to see.

Midterms. CHECK

I just turned in my last midterm today.

{insert sigh of Relief!}

Now...3 more days until SPRING BREAK!

I can't wait.

It's gonna be relaxing.

All I'll be doing is work.

Maybe I'll have time to clean my room?

ALSO,

I would like to thank Andrea for my new blog...

she spent like 2 hours helping me make three columns

(well...more like doing it FOR me)

Whatdya think?

oh and uh,
I'm gonna be...

blogging more.

Hopefully.

;)

When it rains, it pours, and then...

SO,

this has been a very crappy week.

(and it's only Tuesday!!)

VERY.

I have had the worst car trouble.

seriously.

Let's just say,

the car I was driving, has died.

When I say died,

I mean it broke down at a stop light in the middle of the road.

and I was freaking out and scared and by some miracle, it moved just barely in order for me to get it to the side of the road.

The clutch went out.

That was the car I was driving.

The car that is currently under my name,

that I have a loan under,

has been kidnapped/stolen.

It's a long story though and I really don't want to go into it

(mostly because I would be really negative and mean about the suspect...and I don't want to go there...she was a 'friend' of my moms.)

anyway,

I am currently hitching rides from my parents and others.

sounds pathetic right?

it is.

Okay so back to the point of this post--

I was on the verge of tears tonight after work.

I had gotten a ride home from my parents (who had just been out searching for my stolen car :'( )

I was realizing that I don't know WHEN I will get my car back

and

I was realizing that I will not be going out this weekend.

all the while knowing that I can't just go get another car, because I already have a LOAN under my name.

I was pretty upset.

I was on the verge of tears,

when I got on my computer. (which is also breaking down...not sure how much longer it's going to work).

It all seemed to happen at once

I had emails, facebook wall posts/messages and all together just a lot of good things from people I love.

Then I started realizing what GOOD things have happened this week.

I passed my math class.

I wasn't cancelled from work.

I was blessed to have the most AMAZING family become a part of my life through adoption.

(seriously. I'm not kidding. I'm SO lucky)

((well, that didn't just happen this week, but they have all done things (even Avery's Aunts, and Grandma) this week that have helped tremendously with my mood/sanity))

So,

even though I'm stranded,
and have to use my parents and their cars, (and I'm 20. yes, 20. pathetic)

and even though my credit is in the hands of someone that could care less,

I'm blessed.

and that's really all the matters.

Now excuse me while my little sister and I go rent a chick flick and eat a gallon of ice cream.

She had a bad day too...and even though we're both blessed, Ice cream and a chick flick won't hurt. ;)

(apart from the weight gain. Don't worry, we are aware of this...!)

FINALS!!

I have my last final on Monday!!

then,

hopefully,

I won't be such a slacker with blogging!!

It's my math final.

I'm super nervous.

Let's hope I pass!!!

P.S.

I want to just say,

Carrie Underwoods new CD is amazing.

(play on)

I love it!

If you haven't heard it yet,

I highly recommend you get it. 

now. :)

She is amazing!

Film and Culture

My goal this semester has been to get a 4.0.

I have been taking only 3 classes this Semester (11 Credits)

(not including Insititute)

so It wouldn't be that hard.

Well,

One of those classes are Film and Culture.

It is a Humanities credit.

Here is a little how the first day of class went:

I walked in, looked over and noticed my teacher was a girl

(which kind of caught me off guard since the name on the schedule was a mans name)

When I was about to sit down this teacher started talking.

It was at the moment that I realized this was not a girl.

It was a man.

A transvestite.

I looked around at everyone in the class trying to figure out if I was the only one shocked by this discovery and somewhat nauseas. 

I did notice a few big eyes but nothing as shocking as I felt.

Then we started going over the Syllabus.

The teacher went on to explain that most of the movies we would be watching in this class were going to be rated R and that if anyone was uncomfortable with that, they should drop out now.

If we missed class, our grade would drop half a grade.

I remember sitting there arguing with myself.

I KNEW that I should probably drop out.

Here was my way of rationalizing myself into staying in the class.
and that's exactly what happened.

"There are no other humanities classes that I can take that aren't filled. I need to get this over with.  The movies won't be that bad since they all pertain to culture. It's for class so watching a rated R movie won't go against my values."

yeah I know. Pathetic.

After choosing to stay,

we have watched movie after movie that made me physically sick almost every time.

I managed to get through the movies that were rated R mainly because of the language

(which still bothered me).

I did NOT however, appreciate the movies about homosexuality.

It was just promoting homosexuality, and bringing the Church into it.

I have already missed class one time.

(because I forgot about class due to my busy schedule and I was kicking myself for it all day afterwards.)

So there went my 4.0

I would have an A- in that class, but it was close enough.

But today,

When I went to class.

The teacher announced the movie, which was a film about Christ.

We have already watched one movie about Christ that brought probably the worst feeling to me that I have EVER felt and I will NOT allow that feeling again.

I have a testimony of this Gospel.

I have a testimony of Christ and what He did for us.

So when we were sent to get food before the movie I started feeling very emotional.

I wasn't sure why.

I called my mom and asked her if she had any information about this movie and if she thought it would be okay to see.

My mom looked up the reviews and tried to decide with me on whether or not I should stay to see it.

I was praying silently while I talked to her for an answer to what I should do.

While she was looking it up I had this really strong emotion come over me and I started crying.

I started to realize that the only reason I wanted to stay was because of my grade. That was it.

The reasons I would leave was because of my Testimony of the Gospel.

If this movie was going to be anything like the last one we watched, I didn't even want a HINT of that horrible feeling I felt.  I told my mom I didn't think I was going to stay and I couldn't stop crying. I don't know why I just couldn't stop crying.

I was emotional all the way home because I was so angry with myself for taking this class.

When I got home,

my emotion left.  I prayed that if I had made the right decision not to go, then to help me forget about that class for the next couple of hours that I was supposed to be in class.

and that's exactly what happened.

I made the wrong decision to take this class.

I should have just dropped out.

I knew that taking it was the wrong decision, but I was doing it because I needed a Humanities credit NOW for some reason.

I'm embarrased to say I even allowed myself to watch some of the things I saw in that classroom.

It opened my eyes to how scary this world is.

Although the homosexuality video angered me and I would have been better off NOT seeing it,

the other movie about Christ angered me more.  The feeling it brought was one I have never felt before and one I will NOT let myself ever feel again.

Megan Bell

This is Megan Bell (along with all of her incredible art work behind her)

You've heard me speak of Megan before right?

well,
I'm hear to do it again.
(partly because Megan begged me for like 20 minutes to dedicate a post to her..and partly because I just love her. She completes my life. :D)

Anyone that knows Megan LOVES her.

Seriously.
I have never met someone that can change my mood from being grumpy and sad to happy and laughing within seconds.

I don't know what it is about Megan..

I'm pretty sure it's the way she says things.
but she is the FUNNIEST person I know.

Her sense of humor is HILARIOUS.
I'm not kidding.

I am laughing right now just thinking about how incredibely funny she is.
like I said before, she is the laugh of my life. haha. seriously.

I was thinking a while ago about how I moved away for school way too soon after placing Avery.. but I really don't regret it. Although I didn't get the BEST GRADES in the world, the people I met helped me cope with it all.

On the hard days while I was in Logan (and believe me..I had plenty), Megan would walk in, crack a joke, and I would completely forget the way I felt for the time being.

Megan is awesome.
I just wish that all of you knew her..because if you did, your lives would be oh so entertaining.

It's hard to understand how completely awesome this post is...unless you know Megan!

So read her blog!

this will give you at least a glimpse into Megan Bells complete awesomeness.
MISS YOU MEGAN!!

The biggest Loser.

Okay here's the deal.

My mom, dad, sisters and I are all having a biggest loser contest.
Who ever loses the most weight, get's $60
(money that we all contributed).

It goes until November.

We have been doing this for about a week and a half now.

Last week,
I lost four pounds.
I hadn't had a 'dieting' plan set up because I was SOO busy last week,
but I hardly had time to eat.

I was very surprised that I had lost so much though..

THIS week,
I HAVE been strictly dieting.
Let me tell you something...I am NOT a fan of it.
I have been SUPER grumpy,
very emotional (for good reason though..I think they are very legitimate reasons)
and
REALLY tired all week.

So....
if I don't post for a couple weeks...
it may be because

1. I'm grumpy and don't want to let it show when I blog
2. I'm sleeping
or
3. I'm just really busy...school DOES start this week you know..
haha.

Right now I am currently in a good mood, because I quit dieting today.
I was having a really bad day and at about 5 o'clock..I couldn't take it anymore...so I got some food in my stomach to help change my mood..

Thank Heaven for wonderful parents.
They make me feel SOO much better when I have my emotional breakdowns...

NOW,
on to another 3 months of dieting...

P.S.

I took that birthmom to the Airport today.

She flew back home and there is a 99.9% chance I will never see her again.

I have come to love that girl.

It's hard for me to see HER leave...

I think that may have been a reason for my emotions today...

I think that is going to be one of the hardest things about this job.

Well...

I guess I forgot to mention this...

but I am no longer going back to Utah State.

LONG story and you don't want to hear it.

trust me.

SO I'm going to Salt Lake Community College instead.

because of this I am a little sad.

My best friend Keara is going to China along with Chelsey.

My other best friend Terri is married.

Brittany, Mandy, Megan, Elicia and all of the rest of my friends are up at Logan.

This is really not the best thing ever.

I've been having a really hard time with this.

Especially with Keara leaving.

Thank heaven for Skype.

I haven't really posted very much lately because I don't want to be a horrible pessimist all of the time when I blog and I don't have much good to say.

So sorry about that!

My Case Manager job is going well..so that's good.

You Know Why!

So Keara, Terri and I had a girls night tonight.
I completely forgot how much fun they were.
I missed them INCREDIBELY.

At around 6:30,
Keara and I went to the temple to do Baptisms.

It was a much needed trip.
It was so comforting and so refreshing.

I seriously needed it.
I haven't gone in so long and forgot how amazing it is.
I love this Gospel.

Afterwards,
we decided to go to Chili's for dinner.
As we were leaving,
Terri called and said that she was free (FOR ONCE) and wanted to do something.

So she met us at Chili's and we had SO MUCH FUN.
I can't even tell you how much I missed it.

We had A LOT to catch up on.
it's been a while since it has been just us three.

(please remember that we had just finished doing Baptisms and I didn't fix my hair OR makeup afterwards...)

While we were there we started talking about Terri's nail school classes that she is currently taking.

She just finished learning how to do Glitter Toes and said she wanted to do ours.
So we decided to go back to my house to watch a movie and do our nails.

So we did.
We watched the movie What Happens in Vegas.

If you haven't seen this movie,
I highly HIGHLY recommend it.

The reason we decided to watch this movie is because of our two FAVORITE scenes:




You have no idea how many different ways I have imagined doing this to a certain someone lately...
Actually, more like how many different ways Keara and our awesome friend Brittany have imagined doing this to him. I laugh hysterically everytime after listening to all their many different plans...sometimes I think (and secretely hope) that they are serious...(hehe..hey you can't blame me)

Anyway,
here's Terri in action.

Want your toes to look like these?
(they look 1000 times BETTER in person. Seriously. LOVE them.)


Call Terri!!
She only Charges $15 which is a SUPER good deal.

Make an appointment today:
209-777-3310

To my friends...

Friday is the last day of Spring Semester 2009 here at Utah State University.

Although I'm incredibely stressed about finals this
week,

and am SO excited to be done with school for a few
months,

I can't help but feel a little sad to leave my friends.

After I leave on Friday,

we will no longer ALL be roomates together.

So I decided to take a moment to thank all of my roomates for such an awesome semester.

Elicia

I'm gonna miss living with you! I feel like we connected super well. I'll miss going grocery shopping together and making "split meals" between the two of us if we couldn't decide exactly what we wanted to eat that day. I'm going to miss your laugh, and most definitely playing jokes on you. Remember how you tried to play that joke on me with my mattress and then started freaking out about how I would react when I came home in a horrible mood that day? Remember how I didn't even NOTICE something was wrong with my matteress until we were sitting in my room on my bed for a good 10 minutes? Remember how you then felt so bad for doing it that you fixed it all by yourself? Thank you for always going out of your way too see how I'm doing almost everyday and Thank you for always being willing to just "talk" when I wanted to vent, or just to tell you an awesome story. I'm going to miss you waking me up every tuesday and thursday morning to make sure that I was going to class. I am ever so greatful that you generously got out of bed and drove me to class on the mornings I was running late and couldn't catch the bus in time. I love you Elicia!!

Maren

You are one of the NICESET people I know. I have never met someone that is so genuinely nice to everyone she comes in contact with. You get a long with all types of people and I admire you for that! You were definitely the peacemaker of the apartment and I will FOREVER appreciate that. Thank you for dealing with me as a roomate when I always went to bed way later than you. you SAY that I never woke you up...but I secretly think that I did and you were just trying to be nice like always. I am going to miss hearing you talking in your sleep every night. It gave me a good laugh everytime. One of the things I will always remember about you is the time Megan Bell and I found out that you paid for the persons drink behind you in a drive through because they honked at you and you thought "oh they must be having a bad day." Let me just say that I don't know ANYONE that would react that way. you really do love everyone and it doesn't matter if they are rude to you or not. I'm going to miss talking about the absolutely CRAZY things you learned in school, and more importantly the "random facts" you would always just say out of the blue. Thank you for being such a great example to me. You are the sweetest person I have ever met. I love you Maren!

Megan

You are an incredibely hard worker. I admire how dedicated you are at something. I really admire how you never just give up with anything and succeed 100% at everything you do. I remember calling you when I wanted to come check out the apartment because I had just found a place to live and you were so nice. From that moment I knew that I was going to have the best roomates ever. I'm going to miss the crazy and random dance parties we had together all of the time. I'm going to miss watching you dance to music everytime it came on. Know that that songs womanizer & love story will forever make me think of you whenever I hear them. Thank you for always letting me steal your envelopes, or use something of yours because like always I would forget to buy them! Thank you for always setting the example in the house. You really were the example of hard work and dedication. Thank you for always pushing me to go a little further at the gym and for always telling me how "good" I looked or for telling me that you think I'm losing weight. It meant more to me than I let on! You're awesome Megan and you will be an INCREDIBLE Elementary School teacher. I love you incredibely!!

Mandy

You Rock my world! I'm going to miss goofing off with you all of the time. I love how you always talk about how you "hate facebook", yet are on it way more than you like to admit. I love how you worked at curves, but always casually talked about how much you hated it. I'm going to miss the nightmare stories you always had about the mean people there. I am going to miss how whenever I would come home, and walk into the kitchen with you there you would say "Andee! I'm so happy it's you!" or how whenever I would leave to go somewhere, you would say "Bye Andee, MISS YOU ALREADY" it always made my day and never failed to make me smile. Your personality has seriously rubbed of on me. I find myself talking just like you, and then laughing after I do it. (it's really only because I've always wanted to be a punk rock princess like you) Thank you for making this semester an adventure for me. I will never forget that night that we went to the illusionist. You were so upset and to this day whenever you see or hear about "Mike Super" you talk about how much you hate him because you didn't know how he did the things he did. I love you Mandy and I MISS YOU ALREADY!

and although she isn't technically our roomate, I consider her one..

Megan Bell (This is the only picture I dared put up because you hate every picture of you.)

I don't know how I lived life without you before. I seriously have never met someone that has made me laugh to the point of tears every day without fail! Thank you for always joking around and making the mood 'light' when it was quite intense in the apartment. Thank you for always making me feel really cool about my car whenever you got in it (it's like it was your first time ever seeing a VW jetta everytime you saw it). I'm going to miss hearing your jokes every day. Within the first few weeks that I met you I started calling you the "laugh of my life" because it's true! I'm going to miss laughing that hard every day. I'm going to miss watching American Idol with you and hearing you laugh when someone would say something stupid. I love how whenever you would leave the apartment (even for 5 minutes) you would go stand by the door, turn around and say, "well, it was nice meeting you all" like it was the first time we had ever met each other in our lives. I love how you always laugh at my jokes. It made me feel super loved when without fail, I would say something, and you would crack up hysterically (while criticizing me at the same time but that's beside the point). I don't know what I'm going to do without you making me laugh every day this summer. Until Next semester Megan, "It was nice meeting you!"

and just a few more memories:

Megan Kings Birthday

All nighters. (those of which I never survived and ended up going to sleep every time)

True Aggie night! (right before we left)


I love you all! thanks for such a great semester!!!

It's all about the weather.

The weather here in Logan today is A M A Z I N G.

It's funny how the weather can change your mood drastically.

I love feeling the heat!!!

I was feeling kind of down this morning when I woke up and really had to force myself to go to class.

But the MOMENT I stepped out the door and felt the warm weather on my face,

my mood changed.

I all of the sudden became super excited for school to get out.

only two weeks left!!

I suddenly felt relaxed,

and no longer stressed out.

I would actually ENJOY walking around campus today.

I LOVE WARM WEATHER!!!

no more snow for me!! :D

I should probably start being more optimistic now!!!

WHO ELSE LOVES THIS WEATHER????

A haunting statistic

For my writing class, we have an assignment.

It's a pretty huge assignment,

But I have been super excited about it.
we have to do a presentation on something that we are passionate about.

You all probably guessed what I'm doing it on....

that's right.
ADOPTION.
of course.
I am mainly focusing on open adoptions.

I have been working on this assignment more than any assignment that I currently have
(probably not the best idea..but this is my favorite class)

However,
I have been overcome with more emotion than I expected I would while working on it.

I am currently sitting here
in the library,
surrounded by a number of books that I found on open adoptions.

I love open adoptions.
I LOVE THEM
It has helped me heal in ways I never thought possible.

But that's not the point of this post.

while researching,
I have came across one particular fact that haunts me to the core
Here it is:

"In the United States, voluntary placement of children as a remedy for unplanned pregnancy has changed since the landmark Roe v Wade Supreme Court decision legalizing abortion. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, prior to the 1970's, approximately 9% of all never-married women (and 19% of white never-married women) experiencing unplanned pregnancies placed their babies for adoption.

BUT,

since the 1973 Supreme Court decision [aka, when abortion became legalized] and because of changing societal attitudes about the legitimacy of single parenthood into the 1980's, fewer than 2% of unplanned pregnancies result in placing the child for adoption.."


that statistic upset me to the point where I had to stop reading and take a break due to the many tears in my eyes and the complete anger and disgust I feel towards abortion.

Lately,
I feel like everywhere I go, I am reminded of what a horrible disgusting thing abortion is.
I'm reminded of those innocent little children that are victims of this horrible selfish act.

Does anyone else find this statistic disturbing???

Wisdom, paper, and a sore behind

So yesterday my roommate Megan had this brilliant idea that we should go to a spinning class instead of to the gym like normal.

I liked the idea because I've been on bikes before and loved it,

and it sounded pretty simple......

So we walked there,

I realized that I forgot a water bottle,

and

we sat on the bikes while the instructor introduced herself.

As I started pedaling I realized that my seat was extremely uncomfortable.

about 15 minutes into the class, I thought I was going to DIE.

My back side hurt SO bad that I could barely move.

By the end of the class...I thought I was dead.

I never thought riding a bike would be

1 - so hard,

and

2 - so painful!

why in the world would someone make a machine that you SIT on have such an uncomfortable seat!?

I swear I have like 10 bruises.

I'm definitely paying for it now.

Ever had a bruised butt??

haha

try sitting down!

It's really a lot of fun.

So I woke up this morning to a phone call.

My mom signed me up with Gene Brown Research to get my wisdom teeth out.

Well,

they had a cancellation and wanted to know if I could come in on Tuesday.

SCARY!!

But I get paid for it.

So that always WONDERFUL.

WELL,

I have a paper due in 2 hours.

I should probably start working on it.

What the???

So I was researching on my professor who I currently discovered some not so good news about.

you can find THAT news HERE

As I was researching, I came across THIS
and I have to say I did not expect my name to come up.

But it did.

Let's just say......

I never gave that person permission.


They did say that I have a picture of the cutest baby they've ever seen on my blog,
which is probably the reason I'm not super angry....
ha.

Mr. Peterson...

This week I went to my first class on Monday.

Creative Arts.
My teacher (Dr. Peterson is what he likes to call himself) was not there, and there was a lady there giving out surveys for us to take.

She said no one had to take it and we could leave if we wanted to, but that she would appreciate it if we did for some kind of study or something.

Well,

I stayed, because I had nothing better to do and I had another class afterwards.

After all my classes that day, I was waiting to get on the bus when Lance came up to me and started talking about how he read something about our creative arts teacher in the newspaper. I wasn't sure if I believed him because the things he was saying were pretty ridiculous.

So I decided to check it out for myself.
Here is what I found:

USU names lewdness suspect
By Matthew K. Jensen and Kim Burgess
Published:
Saturday, February 28, 2009 11:41 PM CST
The Utah State University police department on Friday released the name of the professor who was issued a citation for misdemeanor lewdness following an investigation of a sexual act in a school steam room.Tom C. Peterson, a faculty member in Agriculture Systems Technology Education and the former head of the Interior Design program, is listed as one of the people involved in the incident. The Herald Journal received the information Friday afternoon by filing a Government Records Access Management Act (GRAMA) request with the school. Police had earlier declined to release Peterson’s name, citing direction from the university’s legal counsel.Police officials are still searching for a second man suspected in the case, which began at 6 p.m. Tuesday evening when a patron of the school’s Health, Physical Education and Recreation facility walked into the building’s steam room and allegedly saw two people engaged in a sexual act.The witness reported the incident to HPER staff, who called police. They issued a citation of class-B misdemeanor lewdness to Peterson on Wednesday after interviewing him. The witness also spoke to police, telling them he believed Peterson was one of the men in the steam room.

According to police documents, Peterson is scheduled to appear before a judge Tuesday.Law enforcement declined to give further description of the alleged lewd act, saying the investigation is ongoing.The professor did not return calls made by The Herald Journal on Friday. Later, USU spokesperson John DeVilbiss said Peterson did not wish to comment about the case.“We are saddened and concerned by what has been alleged,” DeVilbiss said.He added that the university is “not at a stage to take any disciplinary action” toward Peterson, adding that administrators will “allow for due process and let this work through the judicial system before we initiate any procedures.”Peterson is a long-standing USU faculty member who became an assistant professor in design and merchandising in 1976. Registration records show that this semester he is teaching a creative arts class with 419 students enrolled.

How sick is this?
This guy is married.

What is this world coming to?

Anyway,
I thought I would share because I just can't believe it.

This may not be a big deal to most of you, but it is to me because I'm not sure what is going to happen to my class now.

Plus, I just talked to this guy on Friday.
I can't believe things like this really happen.

Tests

I would like to take a moment to express my extreme hatred towards tests.

(I know this is totally against my last post,

but today was a pretty bad day so I don't care.)

I took a test on Friday.

I studied for the test for a WEEK and a HALF!

there was only ONE day out of that time period that I didn't study,

and that's because I was giving an adoption presentation in sandy

so I had to go home.

So I was pretty confident that I was going to do well on this test.

I actually was SO incredibely nervous,

but was confident I would do well.

SO,

Usually when we take a test here at Utah State, our professor has our test results within the next TWO hours.

well,

MY professor decided he would be lazy and he decided not to

PUT THEM THROUGH THE MACHINE

until

TODAY.

So I have been stressing out like crazy, and extremely anxious for the results.

I got them today.

Talk about a waste of time.

I got 13/20.

62%.

I'm pretty stupid.

I am never studying again.

it's a WASTE OF TIME.

(the REALLY sad thing is my roomate didn't study until the NIGHT BEFORE, and she used my notes to do it...she got a better grade than I did.)

I despise tests.

I woke up this morning missing Keltson like crazy.

(he died in October)

I don't know why but I was really thinking about him

a WHOLE lot more than I usually do during the day.

So I was already pretty sad.

So when I received the email with my score,

and opened it.

I'm pretty sure my self esteem dropped even lower.

I just got up and left.

usually when I'm upset and want to cry, I go for a drive.

I don't know why.

So I did.

The second I got in my car I just started BAWLING.

Yes,

I should remember,

It was a NICE day today

I have good friends

a good family

and

many people supporting me with everything I do.

But,

can you blame me for feeling like a complete failure today?

can you blame me?

really?

Anyway.

I HATE TESTS!