Baby Update

I received a question on Formspring asking me why I don't update about my pregnancy on my blog.

I wasn't going to for several reasons,

but after a lot of thought,

I've decided that this is my blog.

It's like my journal.

I know I will want to tell my baby about the experience.

So I'm going to start doing so.

and I have a bit to catch up on!!

I know it's still November,

but as of now, I don't have any other "Hoping to Adopt" requests so I figured I should probably start keeping this pregnancy up to date! :)

Since a couple of days before finding out I was pregnant,

I've been sick.

It's gotten worse as time goes on which is completely normal.

I'm told that being REALLY sick like this, means the baby is healthy!

So that's helping me a bit. 

It wasn't like this with Avery.

Granted I was sick, but nothing like this.

I have been so sick, that I've lost weight.

I lost 5 pounds at my 10 week appointment.

The Dr. Said that if I lose anymore, he's going to put me on an IV.

I would really prefer to NOT be on an IV, so I've been desperately trying to gain weight

(first time in my life I've had to do that! ha)

Not sure if it's working.

I throw up a lot.

I threw up blood a couple of days ago

because my Esophagus is SOOO raw.

I just started taking medicine for that so I'm hoping that gets better.

We find out on December 10th what the baby is!

As you may or may not have noticed,

There is a poll on the right side of my blog.

VOTE!
I want to see what the results are.

The poll ends the day we find out.

We're so excited!!

I'm now 13 weeks and counting.

I've already starting feeling the baby kick.

Just little flutters every once in a while.

I can't WAIT until it's hard enough to nudge the skin!!

I can't wait until Tyson can feel it!

My next Dr appointment is December 2nd,

so pray that I have at least not LOST more weight!! 

The biggest Loser.

Okay here's the deal.

My mom, dad, sisters and I are all having a biggest loser contest.
Who ever loses the most weight, get's $60
(money that we all contributed).

It goes until November.

We have been doing this for about a week and a half now.

Last week,
I lost four pounds.
I hadn't had a 'dieting' plan set up because I was SOO busy last week,
but I hardly had time to eat.

I was very surprised that I had lost so much though..

THIS week,
I HAVE been strictly dieting.
Let me tell you something...I am NOT a fan of it.
I have been SUPER grumpy,
very emotional (for good reason though..I think they are very legitimate reasons)
and
REALLY tired all week.

So....
if I don't post for a couple weeks...
it may be because

1. I'm grumpy and don't want to let it show when I blog
2. I'm sleeping
or
3. I'm just really busy...school DOES start this week you know..
haha.

Right now I am currently in a good mood, because I quit dieting today.
I was having a really bad day and at about 5 o'clock..I couldn't take it anymore...so I got some food in my stomach to help change my mood..

Thank Heaven for wonderful parents.
They make me feel SOO much better when I have my emotional breakdowns...

NOW,
on to another 3 months of dieting...

P.S.

I took that birthmom to the Airport today.

She flew back home and there is a 99.9% chance I will never see her again.

I have come to love that girl.

It's hard for me to see HER leave...

I think that may have been a reason for my emotions today...

I think that is going to be one of the hardest things about this job.

Sometimes...

It's hard to put how I feel in
words.

so many emotions and feelings..yet so
little words that can express any of them.

Girls Night!

Cassidy, Me, BreeAnn, Emilee

(I look like a hunchback in this picture. hahaha)

Yesterday,

my sisters and I had a girls night out.

We went to Chilis. It was SOO good considering it was my first meal since I started this diet!!

(I can only have 800 calories a day...it's hard to go out to eat when that's the case!)

It was a lot of fun and after we ate we went shopping.

I haven't been shopping FOREVER!!

I have only gone once since I had Avery and I got two pairs of pants

(courtesy of Dustin and Andrea. They gave me a gift certificate to buckle for Christmas. LOVE THEM)

So needless to say I was lacking in the shirt department. It was awesome.

My sisters ROCK. They seriously found me two way cute shirts...I love them.

After that,

we went to my sister BreeAnn's house to watch a movie.

her husband is out of town, so she wanted to stay busy.

It was a super fun night.

***

if you didn't notice..I chose to dye my hair blonde!

What d'ya think?

more people voted blonde, and I kinda missed it.

***

I've lost 6 pounds on this diet so far.

YAY!

WOOHOO

I'm getting my hair done today

(it's been WAY to long since the last time i've had it done)

I died it brown in December, but I think I'm going to go back to blonde this time.

WHAT DO YOU THINK??

oh and thank you to all of you awesome blog readers that gave me dieting advice.

I lost two pounds after trying one of them, and then my dad introduced me to Icogenix.

I started that yesterday and have lost FOUR pounds since yesterday!

Comparison..

I have this weakness.

It's something I have been struggling with my whole life.

I COMPARE MYSELF TO EVERYONE!!

It drives me crazy,

because whenever I compare myself,

I end up having a horrible day and feeling HORRIBLE about myself.

My entire life I have had this problem. I compare myself to everyone...particularly...her

This is my sister, BreeAnn.

Photo Courtesy of Andrea Tuft Photography

My sister and her husband Blake on their wedding day

I seriously compare myself to her with EVERYTHING I do.
My whole life, I would drive myself crazy doing it.

You see,
BreeAnn and I are just 11 months apart.

Because of this, I felt like I had to compete with her all of the time.

I remember driving myself crazy because I wanted to be as pretty as her, as confident as her, as skinny as her and everything else.

BreeAnn and I didn't get along as well as we could have because of this.

I think one of the main reasons I felt this way was because I just knew that people were comparing us because of the fact that we were so close in age...and because I felt like she was better than me in every way, I didn't like her.

Today,
I found myself doing that same thing again.
and
I realized what makes me do this all of the time.

WHENEVER I lose confidence in something,
I start getting really hard on myself.
I wonder what is wrong with me,
which THEN leads me to comparing myself to the people that have the things I want.

Good thing I caught it this time.
I need to start being grateful for the things I DO have,
and stop just wishing I had the things I don't.

That is all!!! :)

P.S...BreeAnn get's really mad when I compare myself to her...so she's going to HATE this post. SORRY BREEANN! :)

UPDATE:

Turns out, all I needed was junk food, a trip to the store with my sister Emilee and friend Cassidy, and a chick flick movie called A Walk to Remember!! That takes away the comparison RIGHT AWAY...of course unless I eat A WHOLE BUNCH of junk food...then that would all go away after I stepped on the scale...

Don't worry...haha I worked out a whole lot this week....

any ideas??

HOW I FEEL LATELY.

ANY GOOD DIETING IDEAS???

I would just LOOOVVVEE

to get back to my pre-Avery weight...

I know I know THIS doesn't help...I'm doing better though.. ;)