2??

Little Avery Leigh is 2 years old today.

(this is probably one of my most scatterbrained posts yet...bear with me. It's exactly how I feel today!)

I've been thinking about what to do for a post all day long,

but couldn't think of anything.

It's hard to explain how I feel about it this year!

Avery two years ago..

Avery Now...

wow.

I had work today.

Since I work at the hospital she was born in,

all I could think about was the events leading to her birth.

It doesn't seem like all of that was two years ago.  at all.

This year is also a lot different than last year.

Last year was a lot more difficult.

It was hard for many reasons. I cried of not only remembering her birth,

but also of saddness.  I missed her. It was hard.

But this year,

the emotions are different.

I've never once even been sad because I miss her, or because I'm not her mother,

I've only shed tears when thinking about her birth.

It was such an incredibely spiritual time for me.

The Spirit comes back so strongly whenever I think about it.

and this year,

I'm pregnant again.

Tyson and I are Celebrating with her and her family tonight.

words don't describe how grateful I am to Dustin and Andrea for allowing me this.

It's been such an incredible blessing to watch her grow up,

and I don't think I would feel as peaceful and confident about all of this if it wasn't for them allowing me this open adoption. I love them!

I decided that for her 2nd birthday post,

I'm going to post this when she is EXACTLY two years old.

By the minute.

She was born at 5:17.

1717 in military time.

(WHICH,

by the way,

the numbers 7 and 17 have been my lucky numbers since I was 13 years old.

Avery was born at 1717 and our hospital bands,

which had to have matching numbers,

were 7777. :))

Avery is a miracle.

She saved my life.

She's a blessing to so many.

I love her so much.

HAPPY 2ND BIRTHDAY SWEET ANGEL!!

I love you!!

Being a grown up

So I guess,

Since I'm [supposed to be] a grown up now,

I have apparantly,

subconsciously of course,

placed blogging in the 'non-grown up' category.

I'm totally SLACKING in this area.

I love blogging,

but sometimes,

it's a huge pain!!

One reason,

because whenever I read someone else's blog I think to myself,

"how do they make their blog so cute? I want that."

and then I become discouraged.

haha, but lusting is bad.

So I will work on that :S

Here is an update on married life:

We are still trying to qualify for a house we found.

It's taking a while because,

since Tyson pretty much changed his entire identity,

he has absolutely no credit.

Which means,

we have to find a lender that is willing to just go off of my credit.

Which is kinda difficult if you've ever bought a house before.

BUT,

since we could no longer tolerate the HORRIBLE management at farmgate/timbergate apartments in Herriman Utah (i'm telling you the name of the apartment complex as a warning. do NOT consider living there. They are horrible),

hahaha..but seriously.

My wonderful parents,

have agreed to let us stay in the mother-in-law apartment in their basement until we can qualify for that house/find another apartment if we cannot qualify.

So,

this weekend we moved in.

We're hoping to get in to a house quickly, but you never know!

Which is another reason we moved in with my parents instead of getting another apartment.

We don't know how long it will take and we don't want to sign any contracts.

We also got our pictures back from our wedding.

If you're friends with me on facebook,

they're all there.

If not,

I posted a few here.

LOVE this picture. He is one years old and going to be an uncle just a month after turning two!!

Need a flower lady? Mine was completely AMAZING!

My beautiful Flower Girl

LOVEDDD our cake!!! I've got her number too!

Yes we did jump in the pool!!

 Sorry such a short random post!

I have to work tomorrow and it's late :)

October.

This time of month brings back so many memories and emotions.

Everytime I go outside,

I am reminded of two years ago...

When Avery was almost born.

I am overcome with such a peaceful, quiet, sacred feeling everytime I feel the cool air hit my face.

I want to cry when I smell the crisp fall weather settling in.

The way I felt at this time two years ago,

is unexplainable. 

I will not ever be able to find the right words for it.

The Spirit was with me so strongly.

The things that happened during the month of October two years ago were the most sacred, spiritual, hardest things in my life.

It proved to me how strong I can be when I have to be.

It proved to me how much the Lord loves me.

It proved to me that with the Lords help, I can honestly do anything.

When the weather starts to change from summer to fall,

I feel it almost immediately.

The peaceful feeling I had with me during October of 2008,

 is brought back whenever I walk outside and I just want to sit outside, close my eyes and remember it all. 

Last year,

this feeling was hard for me.

Even though it was a peaceful feeling,

all I could think about was what a difficult time it was.

My heart still ached tremendously.

Now,

it's a different feeling.

I want to, and sometimes do, cry when I feel the cool fall air on my face, 

but it's not of pain.

It's of peace.

It's of amazement.

It's of LOVE.

COMPLETE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

This year,

I am pregnant again.

BUT,

Instead of the end of my pregnancy this month,

I'm at the beginning,

and

Instead of carrying someone else's child,

I am carrying MINE.

MY CHILD.

Although I believe that hormones have a lot to do with crying so easily this month,

I don't think it's JUST hormones.

This month will always be the most life changing month of my life.

October is always a month I look at with such peace.

My best friend passed away this month,

and I placed the one person I loved more than anything,

with another family.

It's something I will always always remember this way.

whenever the weather changes to fall,

I don't think I will ever look at again as I did before 2008.

Sick Night

Last night at about one in the morning,

I woke myself up because I was crying in my sleep.

As I sat up to recognize my surroundings,

a wave of nausea came over me and I quickly laid back down.

Tyson was up, sitting next to me in a split second.

He asked me if I was okay.

I could hardly speak because I knew that if I did, I would throw up.

After taking a couple of minutes to breath,

I told him that I was feeling really sick.

"What can I get you?"

He asked me in the sweetest voice ever.

I just looked at him again, trying to catch my breath again...

and explained that I had heartburn.

He was up in a second

and came back almost immediately with Ginger ale and tums.

After taking a few sips of the ginger ale and popping a couple tums in my mouth,

the nausea began to subside.

While I laid down trying to fall back asleep, trying to ignore the want to puke,

Tyson laid down besided me,

and tickled my back until I fell asleep.

This wasn't the first time I've been sick.

I was sick before I even found out I was pregnant.

But it was probably the worst it's been.

I'm not complaining.

In fact,

I'm SO GRATEFUL.

Being sick is proving to me that I'm pregnant.

if I wasn't sick,

I think I'd be worried.

I'm SO GRATEFUL for this experience

and

I'm SO GRATEFUL for my husband.

I have an incredible husband.

Someone that is there for me when I need him.

When I was carrying Avery,

I didn't have someone to tickle my back as I tried to fall asleep after waking up sick.

I didn't have someone there for me to grab me tums, or something to help my nausea.

I did have Dustin and Andrea.

They were there for me as much as they could be,

and were SOO AMAZING with helping me with anything they could during the pregnancy.

but having a husband,

that can be there when I need something in the middle of the night,

That can help me when I'm sick,

that's how it should be.

I'm so so grateful for him.

I'm so grateful for this child.

I'm so grateful to the Lord for giving me them both.

I'm so grateful for Adoption.

For it tought me to be grateful.

I know for a fact that if I didn't experience Adoption,

I wouldn't appreciate these experiences,

the small things,

and being sick...

Like I should.

I blame Nuva Ring!! :)

This post is officially life changing.

This post may also be a little TMI for some,

but I have to include it all so that it's understandable.

So,

let's go back to about June of this year.

I had been to my Doctor appointment and we had decided on the Nuva Ring for birth control,

and

I started it just a couple of weeks later.

At the beginning of August,

I took it out for my period,

and

a week later,

I replaced it with another one.

That week I began spotting.

That spotting turned in to bleeding.

That bleeding turned into..bleeding harder than even a normal period.

So,

I began freaking out and called the Doctor on Call.

He told me to take out the nuva ring and he would call in something to stop the bleeding.

Well,

I went to take out the Nuva ring...and it wasn't there.

SO,

I called the Doctor back and he told me to make an appointment with my doctor as soon as I could.

When I went to the Doctor,

he told me that it probably fell out with the bleeding.

HOW WOULD I NOT NOTICE THAT!?!?

Anyway,

at this point,

it's a week before the wedding...

I discussed my options with the Doctor and he said that because it was so close, nothing would be very effective.

SO,

we decided that we would just use Condoms until I started my period again.

THEN,

I would try the Nuva Ring again.

SO,

for the first month of our marriage,

we were going to use Condoms.

YEAH RIGHT!!

a whole month?

who were we kidding?

haha.

So,

we pretty much decided to risk it for a month.

Well,

Yesterday morning,

before I went to work,

I took a pregnancy test.

Here was the result:

My reaction was not how I expected it to be.

I started smiling and I couldn't stop!

(I was expecting more of a HOLY CRAP THAT WAS FAST reaction ;))

It was 5:30 in the morning,

but I didn't care.

I ran in to Tyson and and woke him up and made him see it for himself.

After that,

I couldn't stay with him.

I had to go to work!!

The whole day at work was crazy!

I couldn't concentrate and all I could think of was how we were going to tell our parents!

After much help from my co-workers,

we decided to give them a bouquet of flowers, with a card with baby footprints on them,

saying congratulations Grandma and Grandpa!

and then the pregnancy test.

It worked out pretty well!!

We recorded it,

but for some reason, my computer won't accept the memory card it's on.

Hopefully I'll figure it out eventually.

So,

The point of the story,

WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A BABY!!!!

Can you believe it??

We hardly can!!

According to the 'due date finder' or whatever it's called,

(I got it as a gift when I was pregnant with Avery,)

We are due May 30th!

I honestly don't think it's hit me yet.

We found out we were pregnant on our one month anniversary....!!!

Happy Birthday

Tyson and me on his last Birthday we spent together before his mission.

Today is Tyson's Birthday!

He is 22.

Happy Birthday Babe!!

I love you and I'm so lucky to spend the rest of Eternity with you!! :)

CRAZY BUSY!

I have completely abandoned my blog lately.

I have hardly had any time so, my apologies!! :D

So we've been married for almost a month

and it only feels like a week!!

We have been so incredibely blessed through all of this and I really don't know how I'm going to thank everyone.

We weren't sure how we were going to afford everything we needed for our house,

but after the wedding we discovered that we didn't need to purchase ANYTHING that we needed.

It's amazing how generous people are and I am SO GRATEFUL!

We are currently looking for a house.

Right now we're living in an apartment,

and feel like we're just throwing our money away!

So we'll see how this all plays out.

I will update soon with pictures from the wedding!