tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post7806357196691221957..comments2023-09-02T05:47:39.373-06:00Comments on Andee Leigh: My life, My Passion.Andeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17864157962985816889noreply@blogger.comBlogger47125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-5699467368152178622010-11-20T00:36:43.067-07:002010-11-20T00:36:43.067-07:00Andee,
I came across this post on Stephanie Despa...Andee,<br /><br />I came across this post on Stephanie Despain's blog today. I specifically followed the link JUST TO TELL YOU how INCREDIBLE you are! Way to stand up for your views of adoption and your religion. I wish you could know my gratitude for your voice, your strength, and your courage!! :) And tell your Mom that she is incredibly wise, classy, and wonderful with her responses!Shinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07248638307776387058noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-52540677776690690622009-06-15T19:51:47.156-06:002009-06-15T19:51:47.156-06:00Ideally I would have raised my second daughter. I ...Ideally I would have raised my second daughter. I had already been a singlemom as a result of a first marriage failing and knew the hardships that I had encountered. I didn't want to spread myself any thinner and have my girls lack the attention they deserved or have a mother that resented them or have my older daughter turn into the mother of her younger sister at the age of almost 7. I didn't want to have to deal with 2 separate dads. I didn't want to have to have my girls deal with two separate visitation schedules. My parents have already raised 5 children, they are almost 60 and they are at a point were they deserve to spoil love and appreciate their grandchildren, not raise them. I made the choice to place my second daughter not based on religion but based on the fact that I didn't want to be a statistic, I didn't want to try to beat the odds. I didn't want to have to rely on the financial support groups out there to make it. I agree that the government provides assistance but I believe that it is to be used to help you get back on your feet. Not as a permanent way of living.<br />I have a difficult time knowing that I am a single mother working 40-50 hrs a week and that my taxes are paying bills for those that are not doing anything. I am also in the middle of a custody evaluation for my oldest daughter. I raised her for 8 yrs and now her dad after being absent for 5 has decided he is going after sole custody and doing so by trying to prove me "unstable". This experience has all the more solidified my choice to place my second daughter for adoption. I believe adoption is a way to prevent a child from going through future struggles that are unnecessary as life is already going to hand enough of them out. I admire those that placed years ago. I can't even begin to imagine the heartache these birth mothers feel as they watch the progression of adoption and not having the answers that you long for. Now I know that there are some out there they may read this or there are those out there that hear my story and conjure up their own judgments. That's ok; however, just remember until you have ALL the facts about ones story or have walked in their shoes, it is simply your perspective, your judgment and your opinion.Carlottahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10550004529510409715noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-75758970358227126092009-06-15T19:51:29.117-06:002009-06-15T19:51:29.117-06:00Wow, So much going on here. Life is definitely not...Wow, So much going on here. Life is definitely not guaranteed. It's all about taking each new road that we find ourselves on and making the most effective choices out of an undesirable experience whether it was brought upon by ourselves, anothers choice; each experience can be for our gain if we allow it to be. We all have agency in this life which is a powerful gift and can be used to benefit those around us. It is wonderful that we are all entitled to our own opinions, how grateful I am for that. It is sad that our opinions do create such conflict. If we check out the facts, gather information, and see what is being shared as just that, that persons experience; I believe that a lot of us would get a lot less offended and would be able to accept others opinions without getting defensive and downplaying each other. There is "good and bad" with all things. I can say that I like the background on my computer to be orange and others may not like it but that's ok. Just cause my screen is orange doesn't mean that I am forcing everyone to have theirs orange or believe that it is the ONLY way to have your screen look. Its simply "my" opinion. It's what makes the world go around is that we all see things through different lenses. So that we can all learn from each other and appreciate the different perspectives around us. We can disagree with how one is doing something, but I would have to say that a majority of us don't like to be told what to do so why do we tell each other what to do? Andee chose to place her daughter for adoption because it is what she felt was best in her circumstance. I did the same thing; when I here of another girl that is not married and pregnant, of course I would love to share my story with the hope that maybe she can see that she isn't "stuck" and that she has other options; however I am not going to tell her that she has to do what I did, nor am I going to tell her that her choice is "wrong". I'm not going to tell my daughter that she shouldn't eat shrimp cause it is disgusting while she is eating it or before she ever tries it, this doesn't allow her to form her own idea or opinion about it. Andee has this blog to share her story and just that. She is not here to say that this is how it is for "all" birth moms or this is how "all" unplanned pregnancy need to turn out, just simply sharing her journey and I have the thought that she is sharing it with the hopes to comfort others that find themselves in these shoes. We can never truly understand each other as our emotions are a unique and individual part of us. We can say that we understand or it makes sense but to say we "know exactly how one feels" is impossible. I agree that it would be "ideal" for all children to be raised by those that biologically created them; however life is making the most effective choices out of the most undesirable circumstances. It's about taking each circumstance and looking at the pros and cons of each direction. There are detours. If we try to live life by going one way, I believe we are going to have a hard time. It would be like saying there is only 1 way to get from Utah to California.Carlottahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10550004529510409715noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-67942881765978423192009-06-15T10:48:23.810-06:002009-06-15T10:48:23.810-06:00Hi Andee,
I found your blog through Mrs. R, and I&...Hi Andee,<br />I found your blog through Mrs. R, and I've been peeking in every now and then. I somehow missed this post until today. You handled this beautifully. Thank you so much for sharing your story and the feelings of your heart. I appreciate you putting yourself out there, you are inspirational. I hope you find the love and support you receive in return outweigh the nastiness of the few. Thank you again for sharing this window into your life.<br />With love,<br />Lechelle <br />(future adoptive mother)<br />p.s. Jake looks like a cutieLechellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06269950945901115240noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-38978104652357336832009-06-13T23:15:08.330-06:002009-06-13T23:15:08.330-06:00Because adoption has so many variables, everyone h...Because adoption has so many variables, everyone has their own unique experience with it- this blog documents Andee's [positive] adoption journey. <br /><br />Also, adoption practices and policies have drastically changed over the years. Just because you (or someone else) had a horrific experience doesn't mean <i>everyone</i> will (or should). <br /><br />Just as you say you agree to disagree with your LDS friends, you need to take that same approach with adoption and respect the fact that Andee can (and is) having a positive experience with it. And that's OK.Que and Brittany's Adoption Journeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02584631461178087768noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-86092339309631250152009-06-10T09:10:15.368-06:002009-06-10T09:10:15.368-06:00Hi Awesome Andee
I just found your blog (thanks to...Hi Awesome Andee<br />I just found your blog (thanks to your Mom) and I just wanted to say again that what you did last year was a very selfless act and took a lot of courage. Watching what you went through was so heart wrenching but you never seemed to waiver. You were so confident and sure of your decision that I’m sure it made it easier on everyone who loved you to go through this with you and I, for one, never had any doubts that you didn’t know what you were doing. I have a sister who became pregnant at 15 and had her baby at 16. She married the father but they were divorced by time she was 19. By then she had another baby and was left alone with two children. She never got past 10th grade, had no skills and no education. She never even learned to type (this was 35 years ago) because she dropped out of high school before she could take those classes. She never went to a prom, never went to college, never took a dance class again, never took driver’s ed, etc. You get the picture. Having a baby changed the course of her life. By time she was 26 she’d been a mother for 10 years. By then she was tired of it and found no joy in being a mother. She has lived in poverty most of her life. She’s been married and divorced three times. Her children followed her example and never finished HS, never went to college, are in dead end jobs they hate, have children with no fathers in the home and are basically so unhappy it’s hard to watch. I'm not saying that every young girl who keeps her baby will have this kind of life but I’ve often wished my sister had given up her baby for adoption even though I love my niece dearly and am so happy she’s in our family. I KNOW she would have had a better life with a two parent family and opportunities and direction in her life that would have benefited her. I wonder if “Vicki” would have the wonderful life she has now if she hadn’t given her baby up for adoption? Would she have her PhD she is so proud of or have her great husband and children? Her life would have taken a different path and she might not have gotten the same opportunities she’s had. We all have regrets in our lives but I always try and remember something I heard President Monson say at the funeral of a young missionary who had died in a car accident. He said we should not dwell on “what if’s”, this does not help, and to just keep moving forward. All of us, in this life, are just trying to do the best we can. We can’t live in the past and progress. We have to live in the “now” and plan for the future. I think there are great opportunities in store for you Andee. I think your goals and ambitions for your future will only take you to a good place. I know that some day you will have all your heart desires. You are loved! Not just by your parents, sisters and brothers, but by all who come to know you. You are awesome!Valerie Shttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14929225662358528646noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-65289698642603018092009-06-09T19:22:16.312-06:002009-06-09T19:22:16.312-06:00Andee,
You go, girl!! I am glad you are such a str...Andee,<br />You go, girl!! I am glad you are such a strong young lady, what a great example you are to so many. Thank you for opening yourself up to share your experience with all of us. I found your blog via Mrs. R and it just warmed my heart to read your adoption story. Okay, I bawled like a baby. LOL. Anyway, thanks again for sharing--in spite of some negative responses you have received. It really is a shame those people feel that way about adoption, because I think it is a beautiful thing.mandy_moohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07257283041554673410noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-34675848419025796052009-06-06T00:04:47.578-06:002009-06-06T00:04:47.578-06:00ha.. this is freakin crazy dude. that's all i ...ha.. this is freakin crazy dude. that's all i have to say.<br /><br />miss you!Amandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07644087978129196089noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-43763534921706180992009-06-04T20:23:26.265-06:002009-06-04T20:23:26.265-06:00I have read your blog for a while now and love you...I have read your blog for a while now and love your honesty and willingness to discuss openly your tender feeling about adoption. I am an adoptive mother and I have a great realationship with my children's birth parents too. They are amazing! I can't say enough good about them. I love them not only for bringing my childern into my home, but also for adding so much to our lives. They are so much more than just the biological parents of our kids. I occasionally hear negative comments from others about our children being adopted. I do believe that it was harder for adoptees in the past who had very secretive adoptions and maybe never even were told they were adopted until much later. I also feel sad for women like Vicki who didn't feel like they had a choice. (She did say she was sedated - that is not right - ever.) No women should be forced to place a child if that is not her wish. Before we adopted our first child, we had a birth mother who had chosen us change her mind after the baby was born and decide to parent. It was very difficult, but it was her decision and I do not feel any negativity towards her we still pray for her and that baby and wish them only the best. I would feel terrible raising a child if I knew that the birth mother did not make the choice. Although adoption is a wonderful amazing miracle, it is not easy and it must be the birth mother's choice. I am so grateful to be adopting in this day and age. I am grateful for open adoption and the understanding that it is giving and will continue to give my children of who they are and why they were placed. I am grateful that our birth parents are open to being involved in our lives. I am grateful for your blog and the positive attitude you have. Hopefully, many others who have had bad experiences with adoption in the past will read your blog and see that adoption can be wonderful and that many people's experiences are positive and maybe that can help heal their pain. Keep up the great writing and may God continue to bless you and all the other amazing birth parents out there!Hema and Beckyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12733422154601779780noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-76537786133966857322009-06-03T15:11:39.032-06:002009-06-03T15:11:39.032-06:00P.S.- Without birth mothers like Andee, women like...P.S.- Without birth mothers like Andee, women like me would NEVER have children. Thank you for your strength, courage and the selfless choice that YOU made.About Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10722722197857570397noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-13274494525209835742009-06-03T14:56:59.549-06:002009-06-03T14:56:59.549-06:00I have been blessed to be on the receiving end, as...I have been blessed to be on the receiving end, as the adoptive mom, in this beautiful adoption story. I have SO MUCH gratitude for Andee. <br /><br />It saddens me that not all have had such an incredible experience as we have. I wouldn't trade this for anything in the world.<br /><br />Being told you are infertile is heartbreaking to say the least. I cried many nights and days just longing to be a mother. Adoption has made my dream of becoming a mother, a reality. I love adoption with everything that is in me. I love Avery with all my heart and can't imagine life without her. Without adoption, I would never have the opportunity to be a parent. I tried to convince myself at one point that I was okay with that, but in reality I wasn't. I longed for the opportunity to raise a child. I feel a bond with Avery that I have never felt before. Her sweet spirit has blessed our home in an amazing way.<br /><br />I researched both sides and felt that the positive outweighed the negative. We have an open adoption and it works well for us. Adoption isn't for everyone, but it certainly was for our family.<br /><br />We have gained relationships with some amazing people as a result of adoption. When I have moments of sadness from infertility, I pause and remind myself of the power of God in my life. He had a bigger plan for me and knew the desires of my heart, and for that I am grateful.<br /><br />This adoption has turned out beautiful for all who were involved.<br /><br />I love you Andee and your wonderful family!About Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10722722197857570397noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-77615018684054073322009-06-03T14:14:18.246-06:002009-06-03T14:14:18.246-06:00I am Andee's Dad. I hated seeing the pain she ...I am Andee's Dad. I hated seeing the pain she went through in making the decision to place the baby. But that is exactly what happened. she made the decision, Herself, on her own. We told her from the very begining, it had to be her decision and her decision only. I am so glad that it all happened the way it did because seeing her grow into the the young woman she has become has been an amazing experience. I draw strength from her strength. She is an awsome daughter but the truth is the only thing her Mom and I have ever tried to force her to do is clean her room and do her home work. (Trust me that never helped)<br /><br />I would never want to go through this w any of my children again. But that being the case, I wouldn't trade the expeience for anything.Mikenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-62418528559089739172009-06-03T13:40:49.427-06:002009-06-03T13:40:49.427-06:00I'm a little behind on reading your blog. I...I'm a little behind on reading your blog. I'm so sorry that someone had to do this to you. I believe every word you say because I have an adopted daughter myself who just turned 10 months and I think you are incredible. I only WISH that our birth mother was as strong as you so that we could have a better relationship but it hasn't worked out that way. <br />Dont let anyone get you down. They come from ignorance.Michellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17122316512932188490noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-84740692160864004122009-06-03T13:30:23.339-06:002009-06-03T13:30:23.339-06:00Thank you to all of the amazing blog readers I hav...Thank you to all of the amazing blog readers I have. To all of my supporters. You really are just amazing and I love that I have met such great people through blogging! <br /><br />As for those of you that are for some reason AGAINST my good experience...just got away. I will delete ALLL negative comments.<br /><br />I'm not allowing negativity on my blog. I WONT. This is a POSITIVE adoption blog, because yes, I had a POSITIVE experience. There is no reason you should try to change that. I don't go to anit-adoption websites and harrass them..I just feel sorry that they didn't get to have as amazing of an experience as I had.<br /><br />So again,<br />I AM DELETING ALL NEGATIVE COMMENTS.<br /><br />Thank you.<br /><br />I LOVE ALL OF MY SUPPORTERS!!Andeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17864157962985816889noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-91616987155080400752009-06-03T13:04:24.420-06:002009-06-03T13:04:24.420-06:00Andee, I have said this many times before that I l...Andee, I have said this many times before that I love reading your blog. Being an adoptive parent we researched all the pro's and con's of adoption. We heard lot's of negative, but we also heard A LOT of positive sides-from adoptees, birth parents, adoptive parents, and grandparents. I am so glad we chose adoption and now we have our beautiful daughter. <br />I also just want to say that I am so glad to hear your mom say that this was your decision, when asked why she didn't parent your child. I am so grateful to our daughters biological grandparents on her birth mothers side and birth fathers side. They also knew that this was her birth mom and birth dad's decision to make and they were there to just be there for the both of them. They were there to love and support them both.<br />Adoption has come a long way and I love hearing all the positive stories. <br />Thank you again for sharing and I do have to say a big thanks to your parents for raising a wonderful daughter. Our daughter's birth parents and their parents are in our prayers every single day, just like I am sure your daughter's parents do. <br />Thanks!!!!!!Our Happy Familyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09058796647364811653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-72015493169705847852009-06-03T10:38:09.752-06:002009-06-03T10:38:09.752-06:00Andee-
I really appreciate your courage to tell a ...Andee-<br />I really appreciate your courage to tell a different side of adoption. I am hoping to become an adoptive mother soon and have been researching into it. There is plenty of bad press about adoption out there. And I do read the information so that I can be armed with knowledge. But to read your blog, gives me peace in my decision to adopt and brings in the spirit. I know that adoption is a wonderful thing, though it may not be for everyone. I hope to find a young woman that has the courage and strength to do what you did. Thank you for your testimony and for strengthening mine!<br /><br />AngeeAngeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16059675977019551800noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-82902811302893348402009-06-03T10:09:51.999-06:002009-06-03T10:09:51.999-06:00Andee-I don't know any of these people, I just...Andee-I don't know any of these people, I just happened to stumble on this blog from a friend of a friends....All I can say is how wonderful it is to have the gospel. And what a neat person I find you(Andee) to be, and what great parents you must have to raise a person like you. There are always people out there who will mock your decision; pay no attention to Vicki. I hope she can let go of the bitterness that is in her heart and stop taking it out on someone else.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-77798225821253795022009-06-03T09:15:08.121-06:002009-06-03T09:15:08.121-06:00Perfect!Perfect!Andee's Dad (Anonymous 1,4 and 5)noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-6414729656644845052009-06-03T08:56:33.228-06:002009-06-03T08:56:33.228-06:00Vicki, I can see that it doesn't matter what a...Vicki, I can see that it doesn't matter what anyone says, you're still going to find a way to argue. <br /><br />Let's just agree to disagree. I can handle it when you offend me, but when you start offending my readers INCLUDING the adoptive mother of my little girl (which you have), I won't handle that. Please just accept that this site is not going to change and move on. <br /><br />We are done arguing and I'm letting you know now that I'm deleting any and all of your future comments. I won't allow you to offend the people I care about and that is EVERY SINGLE ONE of my blog supporters. <br /><br />Thank you.Andeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17864157962985816889noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-75604762326730988102009-06-03T07:42:15.921-06:002009-06-03T07:42:15.921-06:00Vicki,
Is it that you are jealous of Andee's s...Vicki,<br />Is it that you are jealous of Andee's situation? That you wish you had the peace she has? You point out reasons that no parent adoptive or natural can guarantee. If your situation were the way you desire it to be...Would you be where you are today??? As for the proselytizing, I don't feel that she is. She is merely stating how she got through it. And religion just happens to be a big part of that. She not sending representatives from her church out to others. Readers have a choice to find out more about it. Maybe you should start you own site and explain "more balanced point of view." You know it would have been much better for you and everyone else if you apporched this in a way that said something to the effect of My story didn't end up the way yours did. I wish that you would talk about other perspectives. Here are other websites that have different points of view.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-2158677447393975672009-06-03T07:14:03.535-06:002009-06-03T07:14:03.535-06:00how can you tell someone here not to bother you???...how can you tell someone here not to bother you??? you have intruded. you have come to THIS blog and harassed THIS SITE! Stay away if you don't agree. YOU ARE BOTHERING US!!!!<br /><br />You don't have to agree with us, but that doesn't give you the right to come to Andee's blog an harass her! STAY AWAY!!! Really, stop acting like you're trying to do good. The bad experiences HARDLY exist anymore. The only people that have bad experiences are people like you that don't have the ability to think of anyone else but herself!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-62579666901263856172009-06-03T06:52:22.895-06:002009-06-03T06:52:22.895-06:00Anonymous,
I certainly do understand selflessness....Anonymous,<br />I certainly do understand selflessness. I parented children and I exemplify it in many ways. You do not know me other than someone who strongly disagrees with someone planning talks with vulnerable teens and presenting a skewed picture. The people who do know me would be appalled by your accusations. <br />Because I do not believe in "sealing" as you and other LDS do, I do not see relinquishing a child and removing them from their biological family as a selfless act. Because statistics loudly proclaim that there are no guarantees that an adopted child will grow up happy and healthy with a mom and dad in a two-parent family or that adoptive parents will honor open adoption agreements, I do not see relinquishing for these reasons as fundamentally selfless acts. I see adoption as a permanent solution to largely temporary problems. I have seen many damaged by it (even those where someone made free-will decision). I see your reasons as all being based in a faith tradition that others may or may not share or in wishful thinking. That is not enough for me to believe you should go out and proselytize relinquishment to people. I have no problem with you telling your story, but those women/girls should hear from multiple perspectives. While there are many happy adoption stories where all are well adjusted, satisfied and wouldn't have it any other way, there are many that have turned out otherwise. I firmly believe that before someone signs a TPF, they should have a glimpse of what may lie ahead. They should also be offered every possible resource that would allow them to parent. I believe that is selfless where all are concerned.<br />I really resent the implication that I've trashed your religion. I said I'm not a Mormon. I said I had read the Book of Mormon, coexisted with LDS family members and friends, but don't share LDS beliefs. That's giving perspective. <br />A participant in this discussion stated they could never be a Catholic. Fine. Doesn't bother me. America is supposed to be a land of religious freedom.Vickinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-2841310395937653032009-06-03T06:07:29.593-06:002009-06-03T06:07:29.593-06:00Vicki,
Obviously there are pros and cons for adop...Vicki, <br />Obviously there are pros and cons for adoption. Andee is not stupid, I am sure she realizes that, as she has expressed some very raw emotions. You don't even have to be a college grad to realize this. But you really cannot believe that there can be 'balanced perspective'. Those who adovcate adoption believe the pros outweigh the cons while those who don't, like yourself, believe that the cons outweigh the pros. I am so sorry for what sounds like horrible experiences you have had with your adoption. They DON'T have to be like that for everyone, they may BUT they DON'T. I aplaud Andee and birthMOM for wanting more for their children. Regardless, if a woman in a crisis/unplanned pregnancy receives counseling from either perspective I pray that in the end what is the child's best interest will be utitimately the focus and it not being about guilting a woman to either side. This issue is more then ripping down someone's religious beliefs. <br />-BAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-76215261862056678802009-06-02T22:45:09.557-06:002009-06-02T22:45:09.557-06:00I wasn't going to respond but since I was aske...I wasn't going to respond but since I was asked a specific question I will be happy to answer:<br />We did not adopt Andee's baby because this was Andee's choice, not ours. Having us raise her child was not an option for her. She wanted Avery to be raised by her Mom and Dad, not her Grandparents. It was her personal decision which she did not take lightly and had every right to make on her own.<br />Thank you for asking.Andee's Momnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4517787157158545798.post-43976325701370448672009-06-02T22:43:26.860-06:002009-06-02T22:43:26.860-06:00Vicki, you're totally missing the point. you d...Vicki, you're totally missing the point. you don't understand? Do you understand selflessness? If you truly love someone then you would always put their needs first. That's the point. If somebody wants to place the baby, it's because they love that baby more than they love themselves. When you figure out how to do that, write back. Until then go away.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com