I've been having lots of dreams lately.
They've all been different...except for one little detail.
It is wierd that after a year and a half I am STILL struggling with this?
WHY CAN'T I JUST MOVE ON!!??
My last dream, the one I dreamt last night, included his mom.
and it was emotional.
I woke up crying.
I told myself I wasn't going to post about him again...but I just have to.
I can't hold it in anymore...and this blog here, it's like my Journal.
SO yes, sometimes I might put some personal struggles on here
(I am aware that it is public..which is why I don't put SUPER personal things up here...but I made this blog to talk about my struggles)
Since Keltson died,
I have felt like the 3rd wheel everywhere I go.
Especially because both the people that we hung out with at the end of his life...were married not even a year after he died.
These videos leave me bawling everytime.
ALL of the words in both of these songs fit perfectly.
The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that I'll see him again someday.
It's hard to have faith...when I don't understand why he was taken from us.
I miss him so much. I have never had a friend like him. No one can take his place.
I just wish I could talk to him now and hear the advice he has to give me about my current struggles.
I wish I could see MY future too. It would help a lot.
There. I'm done. Sorry to complain again.
I just had to get it out.
and I WISH that the dreams I had didn't make me miss him more.
I just want them to stop.